Saturday, October 29, 2016

To My Sister on her Wedding Day

Today is the day you thought would never come. 

Today is the day you pretended not to dream about. 

Today is the day you make promises to a man as he makes promises to you. 

Today is the first day of the next Great Adventure for you and your Beloved. 

And I am so elated for the two of you! 

Marriage can be so much fun! You have someone who loves you and supports you. Someone who makes you laugh when you want to cry. Someone who understands your trigger points and never uses them against you. Someone who gets you. Someone who loves you where you are. Someone you want to see at the start and end of every day. Someone you can't imagine ever being without. 

But sometimes marriage can be not so much fun.  Partners don't automatically know if they've upset you. Honesty is important. Sometimes adulting is hard and we take it out on the ones that mean the most to us. Sometimes our expectations outweigh reality and disappointment can cause issues. Marriage isn't about changing the other person. Marriage is about learning to handle your stuff and their stuff at the same time. Marriage is a great balancing act. 

Love feels easy when it's right. 

You and Jon are right. 

So love each other hard. And find humor. And find joy. 

And if things get grey, find the light because it's always there. 

Fight for it. Always. 

I know today will be a bit bittersweet. You will have a beautiful day and a wonderful time, but there will be a little piece missing. I understand. My heart tells me Daddy would have liked Jon. Rest assured he's with you. 

Today will go by SOOOOOO super fast! It will be a blur of excitement and nerves and joy. You will be surrounded by people who love you and want only the best for you. So find a quiet moment and soak it all in. It's all about you and Jon. Every moment is about the love you two found and the life you will build together. Today is your day. 


Today you will shine in wedded bliss.

Today you will walk down the aisle Miss Martin and back up the aisle Mrs. Phillips. 

Today you say, "I do!"


Today starts all the new tomorrows with your Beloved.


Congratulations, Tami and Jon!

We love you!! 

Friday, October 7, 2016

A Little Loser Chair

In a past life, I helped produce broadcast commercials. This meant LONG shoot days, mostly outside in less than comfortable locations. So after the first commercial shoot I worked on, I bought myself a little chair so I would have somewhere to sit. It's a tiny, fold up camp chair. I tried to find the smallest so not only would it be easy to transport, it would also be too uncomfortable for anyone else to want to sit on and it had a cup holder!! SOLD! 

The first time the director saw it, he noted how small, sad, and uncomfortable it looked. Perfect!! I teasingly called it my little loser chair. And the chair would always be available for me!! Only it wasn't. I would find him sitting it in often if his chair was too far. His nice, comfortable directors chair. "Hey! That's my little loser chair!" Him "it's not as bad as it looks!" Oh great. 

Fast forward to now, many years later when shoot days are a past life and now it's perfect for Alice. Sometimes when I'm sitting in it, she will crawl into my lap and I'm hopeful it'll hold. 

And note that she has removed my cup and replaced it with hers. 

Someone is always stealing my chair! 

But she's a lot cuter so I don't mind so much. 

Until next time.....

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

A Mermaid, The Muppets, and Me

Let me start by saying that last week I *might* have been a bit on the emotional side. I wasn't feeling well, I had cramps, my computer had eaten my sister's guest list, and I was watching Parenthood so I was a complete basket case. Going into this story, it's important to understand that I was already on a downward slope.

So Wednesday, my Beloved had a huge event at his school. I knew Alice and I didn't have any errands so I just threw on whatever I grabbed from my closet which happened to be my Muppet's shirt. You know, the one where they're walking across a street like the Beatles album cover? That one. 

Around 4ish, Daniel calls and asks if I could bring him my easel and a picture frame because he needs to display directional signs. Sure! So I fight to get the kid in the car. She feels that now that she is 4, it's completely reasonable for her to stay on her own. So the battle was loud. Very loud. Which ended with her saying, "PINE!! I'll put my shoes on! Uggghhhh!" like she's 14. Y'all, 4 is lame. I'm not going to make it. 

I get everything in the car and we head to the school. We get there and start working on this sign in my Beloved's office. My hair is a mess, I'm dressed like a student, I might have eaten a few chocolate pumpkins and therefore smelled liked chocolate, I'm cranky, and I'm feeling a little self conscious. 

And in walks this beautifully dressed, red headed young woman who says, "Hi, I'm Ariel. I think you were looking for me?" (Seriously, she said her name was Ariel and I almost said, "well, of course it is.") She was just so put together! Her hair was long and beautiful and done, like she had time to do it! And her make up was flawless, like she knew how to do it! She was dressed all professional with that look that said, "I'm really busy and important." 

And I'm wearing a Muppet shirt with messy hair and chocolate on my hands. 

It's just what I needed to completely crush my spirit. 

I'm a mess. And there's this whole world out there that is put together. 

These feelings have nothing to do with my Beloved's feelings towards me. 

These feelings have EVERYTHING to do with MY insecurities. My feelings of inadequacy. My self doubt. And it amazes me how easily those thoughts creep in and completely take over, even at 35 years old. Being a girl is dumb sometimes. 

Sometimes the "I'm a mom" job description is discouraging. It shouldn't be! And most days it isn't! But some days it is. Some days when I'm extremely self conscious, I miss my past life. I miss office drama. I miss shoot days. I miss being a part of something 'important'. I miss putting on real clothes and worrying about my appearance. 

I KNOW Alice is THE most important thing ever. My 'mom job' is the most rewarding, is the most important, is where I need to be. And my Beloved sees and appreciates everything I do. 

But sometimes I feel kind of small even when I know it's ALL in my head. 

I got home and called my sister who laughed in hysterics at my meltdown. Everyone should have someone who will laugh at their crazy. It helps! When I know in my heart I am being absolutely ridiculous but my head is dead-set on being irrational, it helps to have someone on the outside recognize it for what it is and hit the reset button. 

By the time my Beloved got home, I was mostly calmed down. When I mentioned the Red Headed Goddess, he said, "she had red hair?" And he meant it because his observation skills are sketchy. And even when my self doubt creeps in, he sees me first. I went on to say, "yes! She walked in, said 'Hi, I'm Ariel. Aahhhhhhahhhhhh! (like Ariel, the mermaid sings)". He said, "Okay, I KNOW she didn't sing!"

She didn't. But that's basically how I remember it. She walked in, her hair started magically blowing around her face like Beyonce, and she started singing. I swear! ;)

I've calmed down. I've settled. And now Ariel is being added to the Alien girlfriend and the Russian Bride. 

I'm thankful my Beloved loves me, messy hair, random hysterics, and all. 

Until next time.....

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The 4th Year

Happy birthday, Alice Anne!

Today you are 4. 

Or as you enthusiastically tell everyone who asks how old you are turning - "POUR!!!" 

You have grown so much! I know I say that every year but, oh my word, it's true. 

While you still struggle to be understood occasionally, you have a pretty good vocabulary. Some of our favorites are:
Broccotti - broccoli 
Marvavous - marvelous
Fabuous - fabulous 
Neckanice - necklace 
Dicuyus - ridiculous 
Probady - probably
Tatar - guitar

You often tell me to "caln down". 

You can also say:
Boring - I would like to talk to the person who taught you that one.
Syut up - shut up (oops.)
Duh - seriously, I have no clue where this came from either. 

You still love music. LOVE. And you sing at the top of your lungs even if they aren't quite the right lyrics. We listen to the Disney Princess CD a lot. You like Orianthi and you love playing the air guitar. You still love Meghan Trainor, Taylor Swift, and Adele. You also love Cherry Bomb and basically anything off the Dazed and Confused soundtrack. Probably that should make you question our parenting skills one day. When asked, you can - with confidence - say who sings Slip Sidin' Away. It makes us kind of proud. We want you to keep your love of music. Always. Sing at the top of your lungs every chance you get, my child. 

And let me tell you, 'at the top of your lungs' is LOUD. And you are often LOUD. Unabashedly LOUD. This year, your Mamaw Pat called and asked if you needed a Karaoke machine for your birthday. I almost fainted. Amplification is not something you will need help with. Ever.  Like, ever, ever. Nope. You're good!

You are fiercely independent, however, you often bat your sweet little eyes and ask, "you want to pyay wit me?". You love doing craft "pojets" (projects). You love to play 'Punzel. You also love to play 'puppy'. You get real upset when Atticus doesn't want to play too. I have to remind you that he's an older dog and they don't usually like new puppies. When you play, you play with determination and set rules only you know. You often get annoyed that we don't automatically know what you're thinking. Sorry, kid.  

You have mastered manipulating your parents and can often be heard saying, "but you're my best Mommy!" or "you're my paborite Daddy!" These don't always work to your advantage, but sometimes they do. 

You have a village of people who absolutely adore you. They pray for you, they love you, and they are so proud to watch you grow. 

Your spirit and your personality completely shine. You have a smile that lights up a room, an "if looks could kill" face that stops people in their tracks, and an imagination that knows no boundaries. 

We hope this year brings you magic and laughter and knowledge. 

And we love you so much, sweet girl. 

Mom & Dad

P.S. Thank you, Meyers Family for the CUTE birthday shirt!!!