Monday, January 23, 2017

Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter,

Our heart's desire is for you to live in a world where people love without question and different opinions are embraced. 

Alas, that is not our reality.

The world can be scary and loud. It can be unforgiving and unwelcoming. People lack patience and empathy and basic decency. 

But you can change that. You can be better. You can fight for the light. 

Our hope is that you understand differences make life more colorful. When you meet someone who doesn't quite look like you or talk like you, embrace what makes them special. Embrace what makes them different. Embrace what makes them the same.

Our hope is that you are empathetic to those around you. That you try your best to see all sides. That you can listen and hear. Take opinions you don't share and build new opinions. Take experiences you know nothing about and see where that person is coming from. Consider kindness first. 

When you come across someone who could use some help, we hope you realize you are there for a reason. We hope that your heart is tender for those less fortunate. We want you to understand that 'disability' doesn't equal 'broken' or 'damaged'. And when you see mistreatment - you defend. 

And when you see injustices - you question them. When you hear lies - you challenge them. Don't back down. Don't allow anyone to belittle your heart. Don't let anyone discourage what you KNOW to be true. When your heart and your head are screaming, listen. No matter if it's what the majority think. No matter if those in-charge say different.  

We want you to grow to understand that guarding your heart and your body will ALWAYS be worth it. Do not allow anyone to tell you that your worth is dependent on actions you don't want to take. Do not allow anyone to tell you that your worth is dependent on what you wear or how you look. Do not allow anyone to tell you that you deserve less than because you are a women. Do not allow anyone to demean you because you have a voice. You are not an object. You are not a trophy. Demand better. 

Love is something that is earned. Love is something that is worth waiting for. 

When you feel mistreated, leave. When your heart tells you it's not right, listen. 

We want you to learn. We want you to question. We want you to grow. 

Take everything we have tried to teach you and form your own opinions. We want to be parents that accept and celebrate that so keep us accountable. When your opinion differs from ours, be patient with us. 

We want the world to be a better place. We want you to see good and love and kindness. Don't be discouraged. Don't let anyone break your spirit. 

Look for the light.

Love,
Mom & Dad





Friday, January 20, 2017

Against my better judgement.....

So, here it is. 

Inauguration day. 

Some people are mad. Hurt. Scared. Unforgiving. Hateful. 

Some people are gleeful. Hopeful. Relieved. Unforgiving. Hateful. 

One side wants the other to get over it. "Stop crying!! Your person didn't win!!"

One side wants to hit a fast forward button to 4 years from now. "He's NOT MY PRESIDENT!!" 

A celebrity (who is a person, people. A breathing, alive, living, American) can say something with grace and dignity and people scream "JUST ACT!!! WE DON'T PAY YOU TO HAVE OPINIONS!!!" Seriously. This is ridiculousness. 

Both sides are incapable of empathy or understanding. Both sides are incapable of conversing. 

All it is is "YOU'RE WRONG!!!!!! I'M RIGHT!! ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!"

So divided. 

People who are happy to be done with the previous administration say "at least he isn't him!" 

Comparing the two is apples to oranges. 

I don't really think Obama was the greatest president ever, mainly because my knowledge of politics is limited and I don't agree with all of the decisions he made.

However, I don't think he was a vile man.

The new President, however.....

I could not vote for a man who used "God's will" in one sentence and then completely insulted and alienated entire demographics in the next. Completely unapologetic. Proudly. The fact that religious leaders touted him as being a 'Man of God' absolutely DISGUSTS me. And people will say, "he's God's chosen." This turns my stomach. With that thinking so was Hitler. Stalin. Putin. 

I could not vote for a man who is SO unprofessional with his social media. A man who will insult anyone who has the nerve to call him out on his faults is just childish. His tantrums are so embarrassing. This is not who I want running my country. 

As a woman raising a woman, I could not vote for a man who disregards women like he does. I am raising my daughter to KNOW she deserves to be treated better than being "grabbed by the p@##%" by some 'entitled' man. "But that was locker room talk years ago." And he has shown me no different since. How mothers to daughters voted for him, I just don't understand. Sorry, I don't. 

I could not vote for a man who proudly incited SO MUCH HATE. I watched rallies and I cried. He spewed hate and retaliation and people ATE IT UP! He liberated the KKK. He let them come out in the light - boldly, proudly. He WELCOMED their support. No. Nothing about that is okay. I have friends who are not white. I have friends who are not straight. I have friends who are not male. I REFUSE to support a man who feels like these people deserve less than. These people deserve to be spoken down to. To be used. To be persecuted. 

I will not attack anyone for voting for him. I will question what was worth overlooking his entire being to vote for him. Seriously. This is how I see it....

"His Pro-Life stance." Bulls%$#. He doesn't give a care about tiny babies. A man with so much disdain for grown humans could never be so concerned with them as babies. Period. 

"I'm going to drain the swamp." And he did. He filled it with people who look just like him. And they're going to work hard at protecting themselves and lining their own pockets. He is not concerned for you, my dear. 

"I'm not a politician." People. Seriously. 

"I'm going to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" *for the rich, white elite. Because, priorities. See my above comment about his spewing of the hate. By 'looking past' his OPEN racism, you accepted it as okay. I think this is where the most fear and hurt from fellow people stems from. How can your minority neighbor trust you, laugh with you, and be comfortable with you when you support a man who stands for their oppression? "But that's not how I feel!" But you supported it. 

He did that political thing where he said trigger words to get you to completely block out his real words. Except usually men wait until they get into office to show you what complete douche's they are. This one paraded it around like a badge of honor. 

I am very vocal about not voting for our current President. Very. Vocal.

I am also very vocal about the fact that I have ZERO issues with voting for a candidate that isn't a major party candidate. I'm not red or blue, I'm more purple. A "Conservative Liberal" if you will. It's a sore spot to some of my more conservative family members. However, it's my choice. It's my right. 

I think there should be stricter gun control laws (I could have an entire post about this one issue. It would totally have my Dad rolling over in his grave). I think women and minorities and the LGBT community deserve the same chances as everyone else. I know I've shared my opinions on abortion and same-sex marriage before. I don't want The Man telling me what do to all the time. I don't want The Man controlling everything. I think the people struggling through several jobs to barely make ends meet deserve affordable health care. I think completely defunding Planned Parenthood will cost women their lives. (I've spent a day in Planned Parenthood with a dear friend who was there for cancer screenings. Abortions isn't all they do.) Education is important. I believe there should be stricter laws in regards to child abuse. I feel like child molesters should go away for all of eternity. I firmly believe we do not do as much as we could be doing to protect our smallest. I also think we fail to protect our women. On the flip side, I think marijuana should be legal - TAX THAT MESS!! 

See why my family is a bit concerned. 

I was raised Conservative and I still swing mostly that way on a lot of things. But I also think people should be treated kind of equally. And love should outshine fear and hate. And if it's not something that actively hurts me or my family - what is the problem?

So when it comes to voting, I listen to speeches. I read about stances. And I vote without guilt. Mostly. And this year, I wrote someone in. I know, GASP!!! "You wasted your vote!!" Nope. I voted for someone I agreed with. Someone I believe in. That wasn't a wasted vote. Besides, I'm a total cynic and I live in Texas - if the Devil himself ran as a Republican - he would win. Obviously. 

So you will probably says it's all my fault. Which is dumb. He didn't win by 1 vote.

And he's who we have now. 

And I will respect the office. But not the man.

I can have hope he will eventually earn it, however, I am painfully doubtful. The decisions he has already made are heartbreaking and worrisome. 

But I can hope! 

Until next time......

Monday, January 2, 2017

Out with the Old, In with the New

2016 seemed like the longest year in the history of ever. 

We lost some weight!
My baby brother graduated COLLEGE!
My baby sister GOT MARRIED! 
My Beloved had a health scare. 
We watched Alice grow and learn. Everything she does is magic. Except maybe the fits or her dogged determination to get her way. But even that makes us kind of proud. 
We booked her 5th birthday trip to meet the Mouse. WE ARE SO EXCITED! 
We lost some people we loved. 
We lost some people we admired. 
We lost some people we grew up watching on screens and while we didn't know them personally, they still hurt. 
We watched the world seem to fall apart.
We lived through the WORST PRESIDENTIAL RACE EVER. 
We were disappointed with the state of affairs and 'people' in general.
The hate was disgusting. The indifference was disturbing.
Our hearts hurt for the hurting. 
We gained some weight. 
I was discouraged. And sad. And stressed. And scared.
Lots of doctor visits.
Money doesn't grow on trees. 
Adulting is hard. And lame. 
I didn't finish the certification program I feel like I've been working on for FOREVER.
I got a part-time job at a church as their Wedding Church Lady.
I booked a big wedding for 2018 and will get to help plan from start to finish. I AM SO EXCITED.

And I am hopeful. 

My 'word' for the new year is "FOCUS'. 

I have spent soooooo much of 2016 so very distracted. I want to spend this year more focused. 

Focused on house keeping.

Focused on finishing my program. (Seriously, Mamaw, pray for me! I NEED TO FINISH BEFORE MAY!) 

Focused on health.

Focused on happiness.

Focused on just being present for Alice. And my Beloved. And my loved ones. 

Focused on sharing on this little space a bit more. I know, I say that a lot. I miss the outlet, I miss the creativity, I need it.

Just focused. 

So, Goodbye, 2016 and all your drama and nonsense!! 

And, Hello, 2017, we're so happy to see you! We are hopeful that you will bring newness and peace and that we can remain friends. 

Real talk, though. We're not playing. 

Until next time.....




Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Her Christmas Ki-Ki

She has been heavily attached to the same blanket for years. It happens to be my old baby blanket so it came to her with quite a bit of wear already. And the years have taken its toll on her beloved "Ki-ki". I'm not sure why she started calling it that, but that is what it is. Her Ki-ki. And we do not go anywhere for the night without it. She drags it around the house all day. It is her cape, her sidekick, her security. 

And it is COMPLETELY unraveling. My Beloved has sewn large splits. This picture is actually from a few months ago. By December, the entire middle was a series of holes. She wore it like a poncho. Bless. 

We discussed the need to replace it. We even let her look at new ones. We let her go through her old ones. When it looked like she was just about to move on, she would say, "nebermind, my Ki-ki is pine." And off she goes with the poor, shredded baby blanket. 


We started looking for the materiel a while back, hoping that maybe I could make her a new one. The material is VERY specific. It's a waffle type fabric that isn't too thick and is nice and soft and cold. And completely un-findable. 

I was a complete wreck over what we were going to do. 

While Alice was at Nana's the week before Christmas, we tried the specialty fabric store near the house. It mainly focuses in quilt fabric and items so they didn't have it. They did suggest a different store. So while at dinner, I googled it. The first ad that popped up was for my baby blanket!! The right fabric, the original satin border!! IT WAS IT!! AND IT WAS AT DILLARD'S FOR $12.99!! So we went to the mall. 

HALLELUJAH!!!!!! 

Now to get Alice to accept it......

I had a BRILLIANT plan - let's make Santa do it! She had not been specific on what she wanted from Santa (besides EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER TOUCHED EVERYWHERE) and since he brought her panties last year, we felt like this year he could help coax her into a new change. We put a lot of pressure on Father Christmas, bless him. 


I found a box and I wrote a note and we left it under the tree. 

When she was ready for presents, we read the note and she grabbed her new Ki-ki.

And she hasn't let go since. 

She drags the new one all over. It is her cape, her sidekick, her security. And I am so relieved. 

I am so thankful for Google and Dillard's and Meyers the Elf and Santa. I'm thankful we finally found a replacement. I'm thankful she loves it. 




The old ki-ki is in the box with the note from Santa where it will remain for safe keeping. It served me and Alice really well and it deserves a little rest. 

Until next time....