Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Summer Goals

I gave myself and Alice a few goals to accomplish this summer. So far we've marked one off the list without much effort. I don't think the others are going to go as smoothly. 

Here they are:

1: Get Rid of the Pacifier - DONE! 
I drug my feet on this one. This is the one milestone I was heartbroken to get to. It's the one thing that made her so much my baby and since she will be the only, it was HARD letting it go. But in true Alice form, she did it herself. We set a rule that paci had to stay in the bed so that limited her use. It was hard at first because her Kiki (blanket) and paci go together. When she has Kiki, she asks for Paci. We did good about making it stay in the bed. We stopped taking it in the car with us and she only used it at night. I hid her bowl full of pacifiers. When I would check on her at night, she would have it in her hand and not her mouth. So one night when I was rocking her (it's not really rocking, we sit in the chair and go over the day and everyone who loves her) I put the paci out of sight. And she didn't ask for it. And that was it. She will occasionally ask for it when she's super tired but it hasn't been bad. It does make bedtime different. I now have to go in a few times and add another stuffed animal to her bed until she's so surrounded, it's comical. I sneak in when I know she's out and remove a handful. She is very much an out-of-sight-out-of-mind child and I think she was ready so the transition was MUCH smoother than I thought. 

2: Potty Train
Yeah, this will be a challenge. We put her on the potty before every bath. Sometimes she uses it no problem! Other times she sits for a few minutes and then pees as soon as she gets in the bath. It drives her Dada batty. When she asks me during the day to go potty, I throw her on the potty. Nothing usually happens but we do it anyway. She usually poops and THEN asks to go potty. This is inconvenient. And not at all the correct order. She doesn't care. We talk about potty and I will let her come into the potty with me. The other day she was watching me get ready and asked what I was doing. I said, "I'm putting on my panties! Big girls get to wear panties, not diapers. Do you want to be a big girl and wear panties?" Her response - "Nope." So I'm guessing she's not ready. I don't want to rush her, that will only lead to frustration and stress. When she's ready, she's ready. But how do I know. I thought about moving her from diapers to pull-ups to see if that speeds the process along. I'm just not sure though. I don't know nothing 'bout potty training no baby. 

3: Learn Some Letters
She's pretty good at saying her ABC's along with you which is totally cute! And I would kind of like her to be able to recognize some letters before she goes back to school. But I also don't want to rush that either. I think too much pressure is put on little ones to know too much too soon. And I don't want that. I want her to be little as long as she can, however, if she could recognize her name - that's good, right!?

So those are the goals. So far we haven't focused too much on accomplishing them. So far we've been playing and imagining. And that's really what the summer is for anyway. ;)

Until next time......

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Where We Are

First, let's get the lame stuff out of the way. I still have no clue what I'm going to do. I'm looking into other work-from-home options but nothing sounds appealing anymore. I'm in a funk so I'm going to do what I planned on doing for the summer - hang out with Alice. When she's back in Mother's Day Out this fall, I'll have more time to focus on what our next plan will be. The only thing I KNOW I want to do is to be there for her. Always. So that's where we are. Maybe I could create things to sell. Maybe I could write a book. Who knows. I KNOW what I don't want to do but I still can't see what I'm meant to do. So, I'm in a funk. And to distract myself from said 'funk', I'm playing with our extremely busy child. 

And she's totally over naps which means my life might be totally over too. ;) Now I will get nothing done and I have less time to blog now than I did before. I'm hoping she isn't tearing up the living room right now as I type this... My Beloved came home to a disheveled house and wife and a toddler SCREAMING with joy at the top of her lungs and I said, "maybe it's time I go back to work full time. She could be ready for daycare!" But I don't really mean it. Mostly.

Now for how Alice is doing! 

She is talking SO MUCH and it CRACKS me up. Her new favorite phrase is "dang it" and she uses it often. The other morning she noticed her baby picture on my phone and said "baby ayice! (Alice)" I said, "yes! but you're not a baby anymore, you're a big girl!" She looked down with somber eyes and said, "dang it". Yep, I feel ya kid. 

She struggles with 'ffff' sounds so 'pone' is phone, 'pork' is fork, 'peckles' are freckles, and 'pish' are fish. She says 'cickles' for tickles and yesterday she started calling Atticus - Catacus. He doesn't respond to that either. 

She says, "come on" and "go away" and "preedy peas!" She will attempt to repeat everything you say. She is doing so much better and she talks ALL THE TIME. She is my mini-me. Lord, be with Daniel. 

When I'm frustrated with Daniel, I say, "DANIEL!" 

I gave her my old jewelry box with some old bracelets, watches and a few necklaces. She was showing them to Daniel the other night when he hid one behind his back. She puts her hands on her hips and said, "Daniel! Gimme my bracelets!" and I LAUGHED!!! She's going to be a trip. 

I try to get it on tape but as soon as I'm recording, she clams up. Obviously. But she brings me so much joy. Even on days when I'm at my wits end and I'm THISCLOSE to calling a circus to join - she'll walk up to me, throw her arms around me, and say, "Momma! I miss you!" and that's it. I'm hooked again. 

She is just so very entertaining. 

And that's where we are right now. I'll try to post again soon. I gave myself some summer goals and while we already checked one off the list, there are a few that worry me. Potty training seems so very scary. 

So hang in there with me and know that I appreciate you checking in on us. (Aunt Kristl - I love you!) 

Until next time.....

Monday, June 1, 2015

All for Naught

Today I got an email informing me my certification program will no longer be offered at the school I am currently registered for classes in due to the career no longer being a 'viable career option.' The program I was 4 classes away from finishing. 

And just like that everything we had planned crumbled.

Now I feel like I wasted a year of school on classes I won't ever use or translate to anything I can use. 

Now I have to accept that I will have to work outside of the home. I will have a commute. Alice will go to day care. And that's only IF I can find a job. 

What do I have to offer? Who will hire me?! I've done nothing but chase a toddler around for the last two and half years. 

The doubt and fear is overwhelming. 

How could I have been SO wrong? I was told it was a great opportunity! I felt it was where I needed to focus! 

And now I am lost. 

I'm sad for plans that will never happen. I am heartbroken that a vision we had is no more. Plans we had as a family will have to change. And that breaks my heart. 

I am embarrassed that I was so excited for something that now means nothing. I now have to tell people that I went to school for nothing. Those plans I was so happy to talk about are all over. I should have just kept it all to myself. But that's not who I am. That's not what I did. 

And now I have to tell people I was wrong. And that stinks. I was SO SURE!!! And yet. 

I have to tell people that I'm back to not knowing what I want to do when I grow up. Back to being unsure. 

And that just sucks. 

I'm also mad. Mad for not being advised differently. I'm mad that they weren't going to tell me - I had to ask. 

I'm frustrated because I should have known better. If it sounds to good to be true....

I asked my Beloved if I should avoid blogging about it. He encouraged me to; he said it's my process and it'll help me work through my emotions. And he's right. And he's super supportive and I love him a lot. 

And while the train is derailed for now, hopefully we'll find the right track soon. 

Until then, I'll keep singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider and sharing ice cream with our girl. Hopefully something will make sense soon. 

Until next time.....

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Monkeys, 'Mingos, and a Kitty

Before we decided to send Alice back to school, I mentioned to her uncle that we should take her to the Zoo before he headed to Spain. (He is currently in Spain for an Architecture class and was only home for a few days between the end of the semester and him leaving and I wanted them to have some time with her before he left.) I thought it might be less crowded with schools not being out yet and the weather wouldn't be too hot. So we picked a Thursday and invited the aunt too.

Only we sent her back to school. But it's okay, we just went after school! She wouldn't last an entire day there so a few hours would be perfect. There was no rain in the forecast for the day so of course, a storm blew in. Whatever. We were determined! She wanted to see the MONKEYS!!! 

Mom called when we were on the way in and asked if we were still planning on going. She could hear Alice in the backseat chanting, "monkeys, monkeys, monkeys!" and I said, "yes - the child wants monkeys."

We drive through scary skies and make it to the zoo in a light sprinkle. And while it rained heavy on us twice, we took shelter until it stopped and it was fine! The park was practically empty and the animals were entertaining. 
We stopped at the Red Panda first. Alice wasn't impressed. Only a monkey will do. We also stopped to talk to the Meerkats. They're so cute and just watching us. And then a bumblebee landed in their habitat and Meerkats came out of the ground and POUNCED on it. Yeesh.

We saw Elephants and Rhinos and Giraffes and so much more! And every time we did - she asked where the monkeys were. 

Double yeesh.

We finally found the primates. She waved to every one. Our zoo has done a fantastic job of creating an environment that's very wild. It doesn't look like animals in a cage. It doesn't feel like the animals are uncomfortable. And it's also very easy to get lost. They give you a map but thanks to JK Rowling, I always expect to see our bubble letting us know where we are at all times. I mean, seriously. 

We spent lots of time at the tiger habitat. Alice kept saying, 'here, kitty kitty!" And he was extremely willing to stop for a photo.
Uncle Travis and Alice got to visit the zoo last year around the same time. I took a picture then and I took another one this trip. I think it'll be a new yearly tradition. 

We saw Zebras and Flamingos and Triumph, the Bald Eagle and a really ugly turkey. The zoo is also full of bunny rabbits and chickens. We skipped the bug house. Nope. And the reptile house. Double nope. 

It was a great day. She talked about monkeys and mingos (flamingos) and elephants all night and first thing the next day. And that makes the rain totally worth it. She won't remember the rain or the having to wait out the storm. All she remembers is talking to the lion for a little bit longer and getting to spend time with the people she loves. And that's the point. 

video
Until next time....