Sunday, March 18, 2018

The OTHER Jesus

Our child's spiritual gifts are finding the loophole and rationally justifying her actions.

For example, this summer I instituted the Snack Chart which limited her to 3 snacks a day with only a handful of options. Once these snacks were consumed, nothing else could be asked for. Meals did not count as snacks so she would eventually ask for breakfast after her snacks were consumed.

Addendum added."No, ma'am. If meals are not consumed during assigned meal time, they are forfeited for the day."

Alice DID NOT approve of this. At all. 

She also feels like if she changes clothes - that's reason enough to start the snack chart over. Girl, please. 

Her "But I was in my jammies!! And now I'm in my clothes!" Makes sense to her!

But nope. That's not how this works. 

And she knows WAY TOO MANY words.

Someone taught her 'rude.' Now when we fuss at her, she says, "that is so rude!"

She also knows 'decent' so when she's super tired after a LOOOOOONG night of fighting bed time, she is quick to tell me in the morning that we should let her go to bed at a decent hour. Girl, please.

I am not the best with my language. I try! But I fail. And she picks it up like a sponge and uses it when she knows she shouldn't. She will look you in the eye and say something that is unbecoming of a little lady just to test how fast you will respond. 

I've blogged about it before.

It's a daily struggle. 

Like the other day when she was bouncing on the bed and made something fall off and said, "Oh, Jesus!"

I immediately said, "Alice Anne!!"

Her response, "No, Momma! Not that Jesus!! I was talking about the Jesus in my heart. You know, he died for my sins."

Me "Are you trying to tell me you were praying?!"

Her "Uh huh!"

Y'all. I just can't.

I continued to fuss at her, explaining that I understood what she was saying and reminded her she KNEW it wasn't nice to say.

"But not THAT Jesus, Momma!"

I'm going to have to answer for this, I just know it. 

Until next time.....


Monday, March 5, 2018

Her First Rodeo

Alice has gone out to the Houston Livestock Show since she was born. She LOVES seeing the animals and going through Ag-Venture.

However, we have never taken her to the Rodeo. I felt like she was too young to sit for that long and too much explanation would be required. Plus, it's SO LOUD.

But now that's she's a bit older and is comfortable wearing her headphones, I felt like it would be a good year to take her. 

I found an artist that I didn't think would be too uncomfortable for her and Nana found tickets.

We spent some time looking at the animals and planting a sunflower and going through the farm area. Then it was show time! 

She knew all about it because her teacher had just gone and told the class about it. Alice REALLY wanted to see the bulls. 

With headphones on, she handled it really well! We got through the National Anthem and the opening fireworks. 

And then she asked for the bulls.

The first event is Tie Down roping.

First calf out of the gate, "what are they doing to the cow?!"

This might be a long night.

"They're roping him, I don't think it hurts him. He's okay."

"He yooks sad!!! Sad cow!"

And then she asked for the bulls. 

We rock along and it's Barrel Racing time. One girl knocks the barrel over and Nana gasps. Alice pats her on the arm and says, "it's okay, Nana. They'll pick it up!" 

Still, where are the bulls?!

She FINALLY got to see the bulls. The excitement last about 8 seconds. Probably more like 6 because that's how long the first cowboy managed to stay on.

Alice feels like there should be less contestants. 

She thought the children chasing the cows were not very nice and the kids riding sheep were crazy. "I NOT doing THAT!!" Preach, girl. 

Then the concert. Her first as well. I went with Leon Bridges because his music is beautiful and we enjoyed the show! 

Nana, Alice and I had a lovely Girl's Night Out at the Rodeo!

Until next time.....


Friday, January 26, 2018

I Hear the Bells

**Alternate Title: City of La Porte City Officials Need a Drink. And so do the Residents.

We live in a heavily industrial area. We're not far from the Ship Channel and we're surrounded by large refineries. With that being the case, we are used to alarms. The city has a massive shelter-in-place alarm system that will go off in the event of a chemical emergency. If you notice a large pole with what looks like discs on the top and not attached to any other electric pole - that's them! And they get tested EVERY Saturday at noon. Never fails. Noon on Saturday - those sirens are running. I think EVERY Saturday is a bit much. Why not just the first Saturday?! I mean, come on now. 

I will also add that in the almost 10 years I have lived here, they have never gone off for anything other than a test that I can remember. 

The plants themselves also have alarms that will sound in the event there is a massive accident. We have not had to hear those either. (I probably should not have said that - you think I would have learned by now.) 

And that brings us to today.

At 4:45 this morning, an alarm like we have never heard before started shaking the city. It kind of sounds like what I imagine an old time emergency vehicle from back in the day would sound like. And it's LOUD. Wakes the city, loud. Worst of all - wakes MY CHILD loud. My Beloved looks outside and can find nothing strange. 

So we do what almost every person on Earth does in 2018 to find out what is going on - we check Facebook. And sure enough, the entire city is asking the exact same question - "what the heck?!" 

Our thoughts were -- 
Should we shelter in place?
Is it a Tsunami?
Zombies?
China?
Terrorists?
Have the sirens been hijacked?
Is this a diversion?! CHECK THE BANKS!! 
Should we get in the bathtub?
Is it the Lord? Because if it is, someone translated "trumpets" ALL WRONG.

Alice thought it was a car alarm. My Beloved, "that must be some FANCY car!"

Eventually, some poor City of La Porte employee takes to social media with this....

Oh great - they don't know either. All is lost!!!

DO WE NEED TO GET IN THE TUB!?? Because our beds are warm and that sounds LAME! 

We opted to stay in bed and the city updated us an hour after their original post.



I want you to note the "it is not a tone we are familiar with" because at 6:50am, right as we were FINALLY drifting back to sleep - they went off again. 

Lord, come quickly because this will not do. 

The citizens of La Porte are dedicated to the truth and to sleep and we were all about done with this mess. 

And bless the city, they responded.
Now, let's revisit the before mentioned sentence. "It is not a tone we are familiar with." 

Um, what? 

Did you not get the manual and run through all the ringtones? That's, like, the first thing you do with a noise maker - you figure out all the noises it makes. Am I right?! "Open box. Charge it. Play with the ringtones." Now I know it's not exactly the same. But seriously!

Let me add that had they gone through the list of ringtones - this might have been a better choice to the one they have. There is NO ignoring this one! NONE! The other one? Eh.

And it is also important to note that we live right off Farrington. This siren lives in the parking lot on our side of the park we walk to. Yep.

Now some dedicated citizens are convinced there is a conspiracy going on and things are being covered up because the city has been hush, hush since their last post:
Some even offered to drive around and look for evidence of a cover-up. I mean, we were all up anyway. 

Facebook might be the devil, but sometimes it is PURE GOLD. 

So needless to say - we've been mostly up since 4:45am. We rolled into school looking a HOT MESS with all the other Hot Mess Momma's who have been awake since 4:45am. Yes, we might have had extra time to get ready; however, what will we had to do so died at about 4:45am.

It took me an hour to brew a second cup of tea because I kept forgetting what I was doing.

There might be a massive amount of errors in this post due to my lack of eye coordination. Please let me know if you catch any - I can use all the help I can get! 

I did manage to record a few seconds of the second round. It had already moved by the house so it's not at it's loudest but you get the idea.

It was an eventful morning that will probably lead to an early night. Here's hoping!

And in the event the city ever tells us the truth - you will be the first to know! ;)

Until next time......

PS: The blog title is a title of a song by Mike Doughty. It's pretty good. You should look it up. You're welcome. 

Friday, January 19, 2018

Has it been that long?!

I clicked on my blog while I was working on the computer today and noticed my last post was in October. 

OCTOBER!!!

That's SO LONG ago!

I have been so very neglectful. 

So I thought, how do I fix this!? Do I post about holidays? Do I think real hard about something funny or witty that has happened since the start of November? Do I recap 2017? (Let's actually never speak of 2017 again, k, thanks.)

Or do I just pick up from today?

Yes, that seems less stressful. Let's start there....

Health Update. I developed a 4th abscess that FINALLY drained in December. And I hope this is the last time ever in my life I have to type that sentence. REAL TALK! I saw my Boob doctor yesterday and she feels like things are finally looking up. She lowered my steroids and we're going to ride along until the skin heals and I can redo images, however, if the images look good, I might be over this. 

These are my hopes and prayers for the next few months: that the ultrasound and mammogram will be conclusive and that I will NOT need another MRI. They are EXPENSIVE and UNCOMFORTABLE. So I'm praying for conclusive evidence. And I am also hopeful that this will never, ever return. Like, EVER. I would also like to be off the steroids as soon as humanly possible.

It's always sobering when I meet with my Breast Specialist. She's a surgeon so the wait times are always extensive and there's a temptation to be frustrated and annoyed. However, I understand that the woman in the room next to me is there to discuss her recent breast cancer diagnosis and suddenly my time isn't important. Because while what I have been dealing with for the past year (A! YEAR!) isn't fun - it's also not completely life shattering either. So I don't mind waiting. 

Working Momma. I started a new job in October. It is what takes up most of my time while Alice is at school so my writing time is limited. It's a scheduling job - I have a client and I contact his clients to book appointments. It's not hard and it's work-from-home and I can set my own hours. I have hesitated in sharing this because it was still so new, however, so far it's going well. Alice is adjusting to mom being on the phone some when she has a day off. This summer will be a challenge but she's old enough to understand and manage on her own. It has been an adjustment transitioning into work mode while not neglecting other responsibilities. Spoiler alert - the house is almost always a mess. Bless. I will learn to be a dignified house keeper one day.....maybe. 

The Holidays. We had a simply wonderful holiday season! Alice loved everything Christmas. We celebrated with family. We ate a lot. We drank a lot. We were merry. It was lovely. 

A Fresh Year. I was so thankful to end 2017. The stress. The anxiety. The frustration. The brokenness. I have high hopes for 2018 but I refuse to put anything in writing. I also refuse to recap stupid 2017. Nope. Let's just skip it, over and over and over again. 

I want to see things with fresh, patient eyes. I want to budget (my least favorite b word ever) better. I want to find time for my creative outlets. I want to lose all the weight I've gained since this medical journey started. I want to be thankful, regardless. 

These are wants and not goals. See - that's less pressure!  Because, as I sing to our usually screaming 5 year old, "you can't always get what you want....." 

I am curious to see what 2018 brings for our little family. I'm hopeful that things will settle down and I can get back to a new normal that doesn't involve weekly doctors visits and all the medical tests in the book. I would LOVE to not receive medical bills for at least 6 months straight! Such hopes......

For now, I will sort of promise that I will attempt to carve out more time to share our world. 

Until next time......