Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Welcome to 35

I turned 35 this past weekend. I thought about having a meltdown but I was so sick that I couldn't muster up the drama for an effective tantrum. I know, right. It was bad! Alice missed school the first week of April due to the plague (not really) and then proceeded to pass it to her parents because she's such a loving child and misery loves company. So last week I was absolutely miserable. I couldn't breathe through my nose at all no matter what I took and I still can't really taste anything. We had a wedding to go to on my birthday (the 16th) in Louisiana and I was still unsure by Thursday night if we were going. It was the worst birthday week ever. 

But we rallied and we went and it was fun! Before the wedding we toured the Tabasco factory on Avery Island. It was neat! I have a new found respect for the hot sauce. 

That night we attended my cousin's wedding. Alice was super cranky but we looked simply smashing!
Overall, it was a perfectly lovely birthday. It was no fuss, no pressure, and I discovered my cute new dress has pockets!!! Y'all!! It was like Christmas!! 

And I've thought a lot about being 35. 35 just seems so close to 40 and I cannot imagine 40. At all. There is NO WAY I can be close to 40 - I still don't know how to do my own makeup. But on the other hand, there are some things I do know:

1. I am much more committed to my own opinions and I am working on worrying less about meeting the approval of others. I'm grown. It's time.
2. I am not anywhere near where I thought I would be at 35 but I can't imagine being anywhere else. I am where I should be.
3. I can't blow my nose. It's just.....gross. Nope. 
4. I occasionally say 4-letter words. I didn't start this until much later in life, however breaking the habit has been challenging. 
5. I now have red lipstick! I'm not really sure how to apply it but I have it!! 
6. I will never be over my fear of roaches. Ever. And this is not a fear I have any desire to face or overcome. Period. 
7. I say "I'm sorry" a lot. Like, all the time. For everything. Lately Alice has started saying it too for reasons she has nothing to be sorry for. I do not want this for her. I have to adjust how I speak. 
8. I am 20 pounds lighter than I was last year. I am so very proud of us and how hard we are working to be healthier. 
9. I miss bread.
10. And buttered noodles.
11. I NEVER thought I would like gardening and yet our garden is just so neat! I cooked with basil out of our own garden last night. It was fun! 
12. If I don't want to do something, I just say 'no'. If it doesn't make my heart sing, I'm out. Ain't nobody got time for that. 
13. Friendships are easier now. We're grown and less worried about being better than the other one. Let's just talk and vent and reminisce and laugh. There is no need for added pressure.
14. I still call my mom every day. 
15. It doesn't matter how old I get, I want to see the magic Alice sees. I want her imagination to thrive and her sparkle to never dull. That is my ultimate goal.

And that's what I know for now. 

So I'm just going to pretend 35 is no different than 34 and I'll save the meltdown for next year.

Until then, this is 35.
Until next time......

Monday, March 28, 2016

Adventures in Gardening

I want to want to garden. We've discussed this before. I'm not sure when but I know we have. I love the idea of growing our own food, only I don't like outside. And I want it to be easy.

We have big garden plans for our backyard but there is still some work that needs to be done. A few weeks ago, my grandmother gifted Alice with a teeny tiny garden tool set in its own little 'purse'. She LOVES it. She also LOVES outside. 

So Dada got us a starter garden. The original garden has 1 squash plant, 1 zucchini plant, oregano, and lots of green onions. Alice was SO excited to get to play in the dirt (Lord, be with me.) 

Since then, we've added a container of chives, basil, and thyme. 

When we were out at the livestock show a few weeks ago, she planted three little sunflower seeds that never grew. So while she was at school I replaced them with new seeds. 

And that's our little container garden! 

After we planted our first plants I told my Beloved I was ready to go off the grid except for cable and wifi and indoor plumbing and electricity. He told me he wasn't sure I knew what that meant. I asked if there was an off-off-off the grid, like off-off-off broadway. An 'off-the-grid-light' if you will. He said 'no'. So we're staying plugged in for now. ;)

The morning after we planted our plants I asked my Beloved if we had a squash yet. He told me I might lose my gardening privileges. 

Since I planted my own plants I figured I could make my own bug repellent for said plants. I found a recipe on pinterest and bought a spray bottle and went to work! It was SUPER easy to make! I ran out to spray the garden only the spray bottle wouldn't work. My blood pressure started rising. 

I came in and found a different bottle and trotted back outside. This one didn't work either so I threw it at a tree. Don't worry - this tantrum was done while Alice was in school so she was none the wiser. 

Last week the weather people kept insisting we were going to have horrible, horrible windy rain and I was so very nervous our new plants would drown or be blown away! I moved them to the porch only to have no bad weather. So I put them back in the sun. 

We left for the weekend and when we checked on the plants when we got home, we noticed something had been in the sunflowers. We figured it was a squirrel and now that Atticus was home that wouldn't be a problem. We had one little green flower! ALICE WAS SO EXCITED!!!

This morning my Beloved walked out to check and came back saying we now had 3! YAY!! 

I watched the squirrel all morning. He ran around the tree and even climbed all over the seesaw. I yelled for Atticus to come scare it off. The dog runs into the living room looking around like 'where is the dropped food?'. I tell him to go outside - the squirrel is sitting on the seesaw - he steps out the door, smells the air, and then scratches to get back in. 

Stupid dog.

A few minutes go by and the squirrel is back! I yell for Atticus again only now he knows it's not food related so he's pretending not to hear me. This drives me BANANAS!! 

I open the door and yell at the stupid creature myself.

(Side rant - I dream of a day when the beings in my house that are smaller than me will listen without fail. What a glorious, glorious day that will be!)

We run to the store and after we get back, I head out to check on our sunflower sprouts!


Stupid, stupid, stupid squirrel. 

I'm ranting and raving and yelling at all the furry animals within earshot. I'm yelling at the dog to get the squirrel and he's like, 'where is The Man?' 

Seriously. Shouldn't his instincts be better than that?! U need to send him off to some dog survival school so he relearns how to be a dog! 

So now I'm googling squirrel deterrents on the Internet. I've planted new seeds, relocated the plant, and now everything is covered in cayenne pepper. EVERYTHING! 


Here's hoping this works. 

This garden is no good for my blood pressure. 


Until next time.....

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Sassy Speaks

We are in so much trouble. Period. While Alice might not have an expansive vocabulary, the words and phrases she is comfortable with are worrisome. 

A few weeks ago, after asking her teacher to chase her and being turned down, she told her "you're kiyying me!" (You're killing me.) This is my fault. I was convinced her first sentences would be either "you're killing me" or "pull yourself together, baby" because I said them to her over and over and over again. 

If I had a dollar for every time she said, 'I told you, Momma!' - I would have a lot of dollars. Like, a lot, a lot. This phrase, spoken often, instantly makes my eyebrows retreat to my hairline. Instantly. 

I'm not sure who taught her, "yeah, guess so" but we hear that a lot too. 
"Alice, do you want to eat?"
"Yeah, guess so."

"Alice, do you love (insert name here)."
"Yeah, guess so" with a shoulder shrug because complete indifference is totally in right now.

She also has no sense of time, yet she thinks "not yet" and "in a minute" and "almost time" are appropriate responses to direct orders. Y'all. 

She's all "I a big girl" until it's clean up time. Then it's, "I too yittle. I cian't do it." Uh huh.

Don't even get me started on her backseat driving! 

You hit a bump - "careful, Momma, careful!"

You're sitting in traffic - "GO!! Just go, Momma!"

You stop at a red light - "Why you stop?! GO!"
"The light is RED! We can't go until it's GREEN!"
*annoyed sigh* "Pine!" (fine)

When you pull out of the driveway - "Not dis way!! DAT way!" while pointing to complete opposite direction. 

She's 3. Do you know how many years of backseat driving we have left to look forward to?! I'm not actually doing the math on that because it might make me throw up. 

She's a 100% drama all of the time. I know this is karma because she is such a mini-me, it's terrifying. I call and apologize to my mother daily. 

She'll ask for something and I'll say she can have it. Then she says, "you go get it" Ummm.....no ma'am. Your legs work. 

She also says some pretty sweet stuff. She 'wubs' everything and things are her most 'paborite'. She LOVES picking 'powers' in the backyard. She says "this is so awesome!" frequently. She says 'yook' for 'look', 'pind' for 'find, and 'pone' for 'phone'. These are getting better every day which is a little bit bittersweet. Our growing Little Bitty.

She says "sweet dreams, Momma" before bed and no matter how much drama the day has had or how frustrating bedtime has been, I smile. Because it's precious.

And we 'wub' her so, drama and all.

Until next time.....

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Political Incorrectness

I'm supposed to vote today only I still don't know who I'm voting for. None of the candidates thrill me. NONE. There are a few I am extremely willing to vote AGAINST. However, none I am ready to run out and vote FOR. It's a conundrum. 

I'm not as conservative as some I know which presents a problem. One year I voted for an underdog and I'm pretty sure when my mom found out she wanted to ground me only I was in college and she couldn't. I love my mom and still base most of decisions on what she would think, but sometimes we defer when it comes to politics and I have to vote for who I want to vote for. I try not to talk politics with the people I love. It's bad for my blood pressure. 

I like to make educated choices and do research and listen to the debates. I tried to watch the debates but all I heard was a big cat fight. It was like watching the Real Housewives of the Campaign Trail only it was mostly men huffing and puffing. I gave up. NOTHING of value was being said. If I wanted to watch kids fight - I'd go to school with Alice.

There's the bully. In the beginning I just rolled my eyes and thought it had to be some sort of terrible joke. And yet, here we are. I LOATHE the idea that ANY SANE PERSON would willingly go out and vote FOR his hate and arrogance and obnoxiousness. "He speaks the truth!" they say. No. He spews hate. The way he speaks of women or other races should absolutely terrify someone. He. Is. A. Bully. He is a bully that dishes it out and then pouts like a toddler when it's thrown back in his face. 

We are the laughing stock of the WORLD. That's.....lovely. (At the bottom of this page I have a ticker that lists where people are reading from. There is someone from Ottawa, Ontario that visits. To that reader: "Hi! I'm not voting for the blowhard. I think he's a monster.") 

My suspicion is that he is being paid by the Hillary agenda to run so she is guaranteed a win. I don't trust her either, I think she's an unapologetic liar. And that's very unbecoming. (I should also note that I grew up watching and reading conspiracy shows and books so I turn most everything into some sort of conspiracy.)

Bottom line, there isn't one candidate I feel has my best interest at heart. There is not one candidate I feel wants the position for what the position was intended. 

They just want the throne. The power. The White House.

So, as it has been in the past, I guess I will vote on the lesser of the evils. 

Because THAT'S what our Founding Fathers intended. 

Until next time......