Policies vs. Decency

Disclaimer 1: This post will not focus on policies. There has never been a politician I have ever agreed with or believed in with zero concerns. I rest assured that there is not a single politician with my best interest at heart. Neither major political party is out for what's best for me or you. Period. 

This post will be about how thankful I am there is a possibility for a less than hateful man to lead this nation. A better example of a leader to our children. This post is about how blindly following a horrible man due to 'political policy alignment' should never outweigh common human decency - in my opinion.

Four years ago I sobbed at the blatant and open hate that won the highest title in the nation. I shared my views on it then. They haven't changed. 

For four years, I've watched his followers gain a louder, prouder voice. I've seen the flags and the hats and things in his likeness and I've often wondered if it's how Sodom and Gomorrah looked right before it was turned into salt. There can be no denial that this is anything other than idolatry. 

Let's look up the definition in case there's confusion....

* idolatry (noun): extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone. 

He was never God.

He was never the savior. 

He was never a patriot.

He is flawed.

He is broken.

He is reckless.

He is Hate personified.

He is not the example I want for my child.

And now I can be hopeful that there is change coming. 

Yesterday, I sobbed because for the first time in 5 years, I will be able to watch a President speak with my child in the room with no worry about having to have a lesson on anti bullying. 

I won't have to say things like "that's not how you should treat people" or "that's not how we talk about people" or "NEVER in your life let a man speak to you like that." I won't have to have any of those lessons fostered by our soon-to-be President. 

Disclaimer 2: I am NOT saying he is without his flaws. I am saying his main motivation doesn't appear to be division.

And that's just so refreshing. 

I listened to the President-Elect speak last night and he never spoke with hate. He didn't insight action against anyone. He didn't blame anyone. He didn't encourage crowds of people to cheer for the demise of anyone. He didn't say any horrible things about the current leader.

He spoke of family and faith and unity. He quoted bible verses. He included and welcomed everyone. He appealed to a nation divided and promised to attempt to help it heal. The people in the crowd were crying and smiling with happiness.

Let me pause again and stress I do not align with some of his policies. However, I truly believe he's a better example than who we currently have leading our nation.

I watched our Vice-President-Elect speak with so much joy! Forget political party alignment - she is the very first woman to hold that title. As a woman, I wept. As a mother to a daughter, I wept. Alice will never know a world where there hasn't been a woman in that high of a leadership role. And THAT is a beautiful thing. 

Disclaimer 3: Again, I am NOT saying she is without hers flaws. I am saying she has broken through a glass ceiling for all the little girls sitting at home hoping to make a difference some day. And that's something special. 

I am thankful soon the rhetoric should change. I am hopeful the non-hate will be louder than the hate for the first time in 5 years. I am anxious about what the next few months will look like. 

But today. Right now, here's to a new hope.

Disclaimer 4: I acknowledge this is my personal viewpoint. These views are not shared amongst all of my family or friends. I will not debate about it - it will not sway them. It will not sway me. It will only stress out my blood pressure medicine. This is just my public recording of the words on my heart. One day, this will be all Alice has of my words and I want there to be no confusion about where my heart was aligned. 

Until next time...

Has it been that long?!

I clicked on my blog while I was working on the computer today and noticed my last post was in October. 

OCTOBER!!!

That's SO LONG ago!

I have been so very neglectful. 

So I thought, how do I fix this!? Do I post about holidays? Do I think real hard about something funny or witty that has happened since the start of November? Do I recap 2017? (Let's actually never speak of 2017 again, k, thanks.)

Or do I just pick up from today?

Yes, that seems less stressful. Let's start there....

Health Update. I developed a 4th abscess that FINALLY drained in December. And I hope this is the last time ever in my life I have to type that sentence. REAL TALK! I saw my Boob doctor yesterday and she feels like things are finally looking up. She lowered my steroids and we're going to ride along until the skin heals and I can redo images, however, if the images look good, I might be over this. 

These are my hopes and prayers for the next few months: that the ultrasound and mammogram will be conclusive and that I will NOT need another MRI. They are EXPENSIVE and UNCOMFORTABLE. So I'm praying for conclusive evidence. And I am also hopeful that this will never, ever return. Like, EVER. I would also like to be off the steroids as soon as humanly possible.

It's always sobering when I meet with my Breast Specialist. She's a surgeon so the wait times are always extensive and there's a temptation to be frustrated and annoyed. However, I understand that the woman in the room next to me is there to discuss her recent breast cancer diagnosis and suddenly my time isn't important. Because while what I have been dealing with for the past year (A! YEAR!) isn't fun - it's also not completely life shattering either. So I don't mind waiting. 

Working Momma. I started a new job in October. It is what takes up most of my time while Alice is at school so my writing time is limited. It's a scheduling job - I have a client and I contact his clients to book appointments. It's not hard and it's work-from-home and I can set my own hours. I have hesitated in sharing this because it was still so new, however, so far it's going well. Alice is adjusting to mom being on the phone some when she has a day off. This summer will be a challenge but she's old enough to understand and manage on her own. It has been an adjustment transitioning into work mode while not neglecting other responsibilities. Spoiler alert - the house is almost always a mess. Bless. I will learn to be a dignified house keeper one day.....maybe. 

The Holidays. We had a simply wonderful holiday season! Alice loved everything Christmas. We celebrated with family. We ate a lot. We drank a lot. We were merry. It was lovely. 

A Fresh Year. I was so thankful to end 2017. The stress. The anxiety. The frustration. The brokenness. I have high hopes for 2018 but I refuse to put anything in writing. I also refuse to recap stupid 2017. Nope. Let's just skip it, over and over and over again. 

I want to see things with fresh, patient eyes. I want to budget (my least favorite b word ever) better. I want to find time for my creative outlets. I want to lose all the weight I've gained since this medical journey started. I want to be thankful, regardless. 

These are wants and not goals. See - that's less pressure!  Because, as I sing to our usually screaming 5 year old, "you can't always get what you want....." 

I am curious to see what 2018 brings for our little family. I'm hopeful that things will settle down and I can get back to a new normal that doesn't involve weekly doctors visits and all the medical tests in the book. I would LOVE to not receive medical bills for at least 6 months straight! Such hopes......

For now, I will sort of promise that I will attempt to carve out more time to share our world. 

Until next time......

Out with the Old, In with the New

2016 seemed like the longest year in the history of ever. 

We lost some weight!
My baby brother graduated COLLEGE!
My baby sister GOT MARRIED! 
My Beloved had a health scare. 
We watched Alice grow and learn. Everything she does is magic. Except maybe the fits or her dogged determination to get her way. But even that makes us kind of proud. 
We booked her 5th birthday trip to meet the Mouse. WE ARE SO EXCITED! 
We lost some people we loved. 
We lost some people we admired. 
We lost some people we grew up watching on screens and while we didn't know them personally, they still hurt. 
We watched the world seem to fall apart.
We lived through the WORST PRESIDENTIAL RACE EVER. 
We were disappointed with the state of affairs and 'people' in general.
The hate was disgusting. The indifference was disturbing.
Our hearts hurt for the hurting. 
We gained some weight. 
I was discouraged. And sad. And stressed. And scared.
Lots of doctor visits.
Money doesn't grow on trees. 
Adulting is hard. And lame. 
I didn't finish the certification program I feel like I've been working on for FOREVER.
I got a part-time job at a church as their Wedding Church Lady.
I booked a big wedding for 2018 and will get to help plan from start to finish. I AM SO EXCITED.

And I am hopeful. 

My 'word' for the new year is "FOCUS'. 

I have spent soooooo much of 2016 so very distracted. I want to spend this year more focused. 

Focused on house keeping.

Focused on finishing my program. (Seriously, Mamaw, pray for me! I NEED TO FINISH BEFORE MAY!) 

Focused on health.

Focused on happiness.

Focused on just being present for Alice. And my Beloved. And my loved ones. 

Focused on sharing on this little space a bit more. I know, I say that a lot. I miss the outlet, I miss the creativity, I need it.

Just focused. 

So, Goodbye, 2016 and all your drama and nonsense!! 

And, Hello, 2017, we're so happy to see you! We are hopeful that you will bring newness and peace and that we can remain friends. 

Real talk, though. We're not playing. 

Until next time.....