My Heavy Heart

My heart is broken, y'all. Between the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and the fires, I'm pretty sure I'm going to spend the week near tears. I've sat and watched fire destroy large amounts of the state I love in the past few days. And it's still burning. People are losing their homes, their lives and there is NOTHING I can do about it. I'd huff and I'd puff if I thought it would help! I'd give up my favorite pair of shoes for Captain Planet's ability to control water and wind! But none of that is possible. And all I can do is watch. It's such a helpless feeling. We can donate money to the victims and supplies to the people at the front lines and that's helping. But it's not calming the flames any. And that's frustrating.

Seeing the interviews of people who had to leave behind all things precious made me start to think about what I would grab if grabbing was all I could do. The idea of making a "Must Grab" list is heartbreaking but humbling and so very grown up. So I'm making one through my tears.

Every time Texas is in the news 'spot light', my pride in my state grows by leaps and bounds. People have lost EVERYTHING yet they never say "woe is me! where is my help?" They stand and shakily say "yea, we've lost everything, but it's just things. we'll rebuild." You don't see shots of people standing around waiting to be rescued. You see shots of people waiting in line to donate cars full of supplies, Facebook posts of addresses where people have opened their homes to strangers needing shelter, people volunteering to help anyway they can.

Because that's what we do - we take care of our own. It doesn't matter what kind of disaster is thrown our way, we take care of our own. Our hearts are already there and we just can't help it.

I'm proud to be a Texan. Bottom line.

I'm praying for the families near the flames, the families through the flames, their animals who are scared and the men and women who are tirelessly working to STOP the flames. I'm praying for strength and encouragement and success. And I can't help but hope for a big giant rain storm. I'd give my favorite pair of shoes for a nice soaking Tropical Storm to blow in tomorrow. But I fear my shoes are safe, there's no rain in sight.

Until next time....

SCREAM!

I LOVE scary movies - I can't handle them as well as I used to but I LOVE THEM. And I LOVE a good scary movie that also makes me laugh. I'm also a sucker for a witty bad guy. For these reasons, I am a big Scream fan. The original movie did a fantastic job of mixing scary with humor while poking fun at the horror genre all at the same time. Scream 2 & 3 were okay but nothing compared to the original and I'm planning on seeing Scream 4. I just have to. And at 30 years old, this time I won't have to sneak in.

You see, Scream came out in 1996 making me just 15 years old and too young to buy tickets. But my friends, Ashley and Gabi and I were resourceful souls out for an adventure and we wanted to see the movie! So Ashley (who was not 15 and could drive) picks us up and we head to the very crowded movie theater. When we discover they are checking ID's (seriously?! come on people!) in a panic, we buy tickets to Evita. It's fine! We'll just sneak in to the theater - surely they won't have anyone checking tickets at the door! We'll wait until RIGHT before the movie starts and sneak in! I'm telling you - we had a plan!

And they had a young guy checking tickets right inside the door. We open the door and bump in to him. Awesome.

Movie Dude: "Can I help you girls find something?"

Us: "Umm....yeah, we were just.... looking for .....the ....pay phones."

Movie Dude: "You're in luck - they're in here."

Us: "Really?"

Cool Movie Dude: "No, but take a seat and enjoy the movie."

And we did! We SCREAMED and laughed and thought we were pretty cool.

Seeing the Scream mask invokes that memory every time. That might be one of the reasons I like the movie so much.

I kept the Evita ticket for a long time. We were going through old stuff and I came across it and I started to smile.

"What's that?"

"My ticket to Evita."

"You bought a ticket to Evita??"

"Well, it's kind of a funny story..."

I've never even seen Evita. :)

But I'll see Scream 4!

Until next time...

Party like it's 1999!

It's happened. We've reached 10 years. I got my official High School reunion invite the other day. Really?! 10 years?! Wow. So now the internal debate begins....

Do I go? Do I pay gobs of money to spend time with people I didn't care to spend time with 10 years ago? Will I know anyone? What will I wear? Who will I sit by? It's amazing that the mere mention of High School resurfaces all the insecurities and fears of the first day of school. My dear friend Laura and I have struck a deal. It's the old high school "I'll go if you go" deal. So I guess I'm going. 10 years.

With the upcoming reunion I can't help but think of things I would change if life had a Redo button.
1: I would worry a lot less about what other people thought.
2: I'd be a little more social outside of school.
3: I'd give the boys a chance. There's one I would apologize to, he deserved an explanation.
4: I would probably pay better attention in Spanish class.
5: I'd try to relax a bit more, I was a little high strung back then. Can you imagine? ;)

But if I'm honest, I wouldn't change anything. I loved high school and I do not regret a thing. I never compromised my convictions or put myself in any dangerous situations. I followed my heart and don't regret it. While people say I might have missed out, I don't think I did! Every decision I made brought me to where I am today and I wouldn't change that for the world.

So I'll go and revisit fears and feelings I've managed to repress for the last 10 years. :) Who knows, I might even have fun! And if I don't, at least Laura and I will have something to talk about on the ride home. Until next time....