W.W.J.D.

I hate election years. It makes things uncomfy. I am mad.

The fact that we are dealing with what we were dealing with eight years ago makes me so sick. We deserve to be turned in to salt.

I have so much anxiety and I'm not sleeping well. I also have a very distinct view on what is right and what is wrong. I pray to God and THIS is what He puts on my heart. This has been heavy on my heart, and I need to get it out.

I am writing this so one day Alice will know which side of history I stood on.

Here is everything I want to say....

*deep breath* 

1. I don't think God plays politics. I don't think He handpicks any leader. He gave us free will and said do your worst. And we have. If anything, the man was sent to fracture the church and expose Evangelical Christians for what they are - easily bought and swayed. Put Republican next to your name and they will follow you anywhere.

2. One of the current candidates believes in and has a relationship with God. The other candidate thinks he IS god. One candidate is required to be perfect and calm and respectful at all times. The other candidate can be as hateful as he wants. He openly lies about everything with zero consequences. I heard a reporter say "she is having to be flawless while he is allowed to be lawless" and that is the truth.

3. If you are a single issue voter and are choosing to vote for a very hateful, misogynistic, narcissistic, racist who would like to become the next great dictator but claims to be Pro-life - YOU are on the wrong side of history. A man who is openly and proudly supported by the KKK.  You say, "I'm not a racist" BUT that isn't a deal breaker for you because he is still your chosen one. He's been accused of assaulting many women, but that isn't a deal breaker either. THAT is the problem. He is a walking, talking red flag and no matter the egregious things he says or does - you will die on the hill of "but he is Pro-Life." 

4. A man who has his followers buy watches, shoes, coins and Bibles - with his name and face on it - does not care how much you are paying for bread. To convince yourself otherwise is foolish. His goal will be to line his pockets and garner as much power as possible. The rich will get richer and we will suffer for it. 

5. God's Bible does not mention America or your right to own a gun. Hard stop. He actually spends a lot of time talking about not harming people, protecting children and welcoming the poor.

6. He is not a man of God. The Bible says believers will know other believers by their Fruits of the Spirit. They are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness. What of those does your candidate exhibit? I'll wait...

7. If he wins and he does what he says he will do - persecute those who disagree with him - when they come for your neighbors, your family and your friends - will you act surprised? Yesterday he said Liz Chaney should be lined up in front of a firing squad. How is that your choice in a leader?

8.I spent my childhood being asked W.W.J.D. and NOW when people are saying that Jesus would most certainly NOT do what he is doing - we are called Liberal and it's seen as a negative. You took us to church to learn the love of God. We did. Jesus flipped tables. Jesus would not have voted for either candidate but He most certainly wouldn't have voted for him. Jesus would be someone you would spit the word "liberal" out to. He would be DISAPPOINTED in your devotion to such a horrendous golden lamb.

If when we get to the pearly gates and standing behind God are people like Trump, Cruz, Vance, Lindsey Graham, MTG and God looks at me says "why did you not follow my chosen one?" - I will take my chances in Hell. Full stop. I believe so strongly in my convictions that I will gladly enter Hell if I'm wrong.

BUT

What if I am right?

What if we get to heaven and God looks at you and says "how could you have ever claimed he was my chosen? You heard his words. You saw how he treated people. He took my word and sold it with his name on the cover. You purchased and wore things with his face on it. You supported him when he tore down the weak. When he abused women. When he incited such violence. When he put himself above everyone. You trusted him above all else. He exemplifies nothing I want my name attached to. He proudly aligned himself with the worst of the worst. His desire was to become the most powerful. How could you have fallen so easily for such a blatant idol? How, child?" 

What are you going to say? "But he was pro-life."

9. My job is to leave a better world for my daughter. That's my single issue. I am voting for the person who I do not see as a threat to women. Ask yourself, which candidate are you comfortable leaving your teenage daughter in a room with alone? And be honest.

This has made friendships difficult. Family relationships are strained. This is where we are.

Bottom line, for me, it's not about politics. It's about morals. One candidate has them. It's not the one selling bibles in his name.

I hope next Tuesday ends the way it should but my faith in "God's people" flew out the window eight years when he became their guy. 

Some of you didn't wear W.W.J.D. bracelets every day when you were young and it shows.

Until next time...

Total Chaos

It's always when my Beloved is at work....

To know me is to understand I have an irrational fear of roaches. I become completely unhinged if I even think there is one nearby. It's unhealthy and I have no intention of changing - I am who I am.

Now to my living nightmare....

Thursday evening as I was eating the last of my dinner, a roach crawls out from under my Beloved's chair and creeps behind our living room bench and I swear it's the size of a Corgi. Usually at this time of day, my beloved husband is home to handle such a crisis. Not THIS night though. This night he has a late event he has to help with.

I did NOT panic! I finished the last few bites and then ran to my room screaming "Alice, stay in your room - there's a roach in the living room!"

From my bed, Alice and I are screaming to each other about what we should do. It's decided that we should abandon the house. It's no longer safe. We decide to go to Taekwondo. I tell her to brush her teeth. She runs to her bathroom to speed through teeth brushing.

And then...the roach enters the hall and turns towards me as if to say, "hey girl, what's up?" Sir. We. Are. Not. Friends.

I scream "ALICE!! IT'S IN THE HALL!!!!!"

She screams and runs to our room. 

Our unwelcome visitor makes its way to Alice's doorway, looks in the room and proceeds to move down the hall.

Now I panic. After checking out Alice's bathroom, it walks DIRECTLY TO MY ROOM.

It's the roach version of Goldilocks. 

The nasty intruder steps foot in my room to all the screaming, decides this is not the vibe he's looking for and turns around.

I get a moment of bravery and decide I can kill it. I'm a grown person. It's just a bug. Alice throws a flyswatter out of our bathroom,; I take a few deep breaths and I head down the hall.

By this time, it has made its way to our back bedroom doorway. I bravely get close enough to hit it - only I miss because grace is not a spiritual gift I was given. I was given the gift of calamity. 

I turn to run, trip over my comfy house shoes and hit the floor....hard. So. Hard.

I crawl back to my room and throw myself on the bed. Alice offers to call 911 from the bathroom.

This is it. I am done.

I tell her we're leaving. She grabs a shoe; I have the flyswatter - and we run.

Every light in the house is on, there are shoes and large throwing objects spread throughout the house - I don't care, I walk away from all of it.

Alice in the car "where did it come from?!?"
Me "The gates of Hell!"

Alice does her TKD class and when she's done, my Beloved still isn't home.

Alice "okay, let's go to Walmart and spend money", because she is MY child, and this is how we heal.

Instead, we decided ice cream can fix it.

We get home and remain in the car until I can no longer take it. I walk through the house and our nasty bestie isn't anywhere I can see. I make Alice get out and we pile on to one spot on the couch while she sobs in fear, and I eat my well-earned Blizzard.

And that's how my Beloved finds us once he finally gets home. 

Her sobbing and me trying to watch First Daughter on Netflix.

Bless.

Did we handle it the best way possible? Probably not.

Did we make Dada look until he found the dead beast? ABSOLUTELY!

Is the right side of my body bruised? Yes. Yes, it is. 

My dominant elbow I spend a lot of time leaning on? Bruised. I am living with my discomfort and taking it as a lesson in what not to do next time.

Next time I will immediately leave the house and go shopping...

This is the way.

Until next time.....

The 12th Year

Happy birthday, Alice!

Today, you are 12.

Can you believe?!

It was a busy, busy year. 

You wrapped up your 5th grade year playing an Oompa Loompa in Willy Wonka. Fifth grade was probably the hardest year you have had yet but you got through it! 

This summer we got to sleep in a bus! Sort of. :) We took a little trip to San Marcos and saw caves and deer and goats. It was such an adventure!

You got your braces off and now have to keep up with a retainer. You had determined baby teeth pulled and handled it like a champ!

You started 6th grade and so far, it has been a much better start than last year. We talked a lot this summer about friendships and the opportunity this provides to expanding your circle. You were way less stressed with the start of the year. You are taking art and have joined the Drama Club.

You earned your black belt in Taekwondo. You are now on the Diving Divas volleyball team and have your first game next week. 

You got a cell phone for your 11th birthday and texting with you is SO MUCH FUN.

You are growing and changing and it's such an honor to be a part of it. We tried to prepare you for as much as we can and so far you are handling it so much better than we imagined. We are proud of you. Always.

Sometimes the big feelings are a lot so we have a safe word for those times when we're both a little overly passionate and need to step away to gather our calm. It mainly just makes us laugh and confuses Dada. 

If ever your feelings are too big and you don't want to share them with me, I hope you know you are surrounded by a village of people who want nothing but the best for you. You are never alone. 

I hope this year is the best one you've ever had. 

We love you so very much, babes. 

Being 12 is SO preppy.

Slay.

Mom & Dad

Saturday Shenanigans

This is the kind of shenanigans I get into when my Beloved is at work on the weekends.

A few Saturdays ago, I decided to treat my self and I had a mani/pedi/eyebrow shape date. It was wonderful. Having my eyebrows done means I walk away with angry pink skin that makes it look like I have a questionable rash. Every time. 

But it's okay!! Because the rest of my plans for the day involved staying in my house. Unbothered. 

But it's me....so....

I leave my appointment, pick up lunch and head home. Alice and I are eating our lunch when the door bell rings.

Our door is built to where if it's bright enough, you can see a shadow walking up to it from outside so there was no sneaking up without answering.

I open the door to a man and his grown son who just look at me. It takes me a second to realize his son is holding a very old Weiner dog. I recognize said dog because this is not my first encounter with him.

Me "Oh! He lives next door!"

The Dad "Okay, great! I didn't know which house it was."

They leave to take him home.

The doorbell rings again.

They're back. With the dog.

The Dad "They're not home." *awkward silence and staring*

My Internal dialogue - what am I supposed to do? I'm not the one that found him.

What I actually say "okay, I'll take him."

This dog is blind and older than dirt. This is at least the third time I've encountered him and I'm pretty sure he is just trying to go towards the light and keeps getting lost.

The last time the dog was put in my arms (by a different neighbor who found him), I placed him back in their backyard with their other dogs. They have two younger dogs. (These dogs often get out and sometimes visit our backyard.) When I put the little dog in their yard, he immediately snapped at the younger dogs. I'm convinced the younger ones are actively digging holes for him to sneak out in hopes he'll disappear.

I take the dog and bring him inside. He bumps around with Alice following him making sure he doesn't hurt himself. I text the neighbor letting him know he's with us.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings for the third time. 

I let him come in and I ask him what the dogs name is because I've spent enough time with him, I want to know what to call him next time.

The neighbor has to think about it. 

What?

He say "He's really old, we just call him Wiener. He's Rachel's childhood dog, she's had him for forever and we don't remember what his name started out as."

The heck?

Whatever, he takes the dog.

In a span of thirty minutes, I've greeted three neighbors, two of which I have never seen before, looking like I have some kind of plague.

I really shouldn't be shocked this is how my Saturday turned out....

Until next time....