Secret

There isn't a day that goes by I don't worry I'm failing her. There isn't a day that goes by I don't worry I'm failing my Beloved.

The house isn't as clean as I think it should be with me home all day. The baby isn't always agreeable and my patience level is less than desirable. Dinner isn't always ready on time. Sometimes I forget to pick up something at the store. There is almost always laundry in the dryer. Sometimes for days. When I'm tired - I'm CRANKY. And we've had some long nights lately! 

And I feel defeated. Completely defeated. I want to give up. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe it's time to go back to work.

Then I feel foolish. 

My struggles aren't half as bad as some. My trials barely count as trials. 

So what the baby got stuck in the laundry room for the 4th time today?

 (I mean, seriously. 4 times. At least she wasn't eating the coke box or playing in the dog bowl.)

She's healthy. She's happy. She plays. She laughs. She has CRAZY hair.

I can't manage my own hair. What am I supposed to do with that?! 

And I have a fantastic husband who loves me no matter how much I doubt. No matter how many times I express my fears of incompetency. No matter how many tears I shed.

He still loves me. He still thinks I'm doing a good job. 

And I'd be lost without him.

But that's no secret. ;)

Until next time.....