Hells to the Bells

Tami came in this past weekend. 

That's how some of the best blog posts start. ;) And once again, we should probably never leave the house together.

Let's start with Walmart and yet another example of my brain damage-ness.  Because I've been busy lately, I had a few last minute gifts to buy. This meant Poopie and I got to visit Walmart at 9pm on the Friday before Christmas. Oh joy, oh delight. We do our shopping but I still need to get something from the jewelry counter which was unmanned at the time. So Poopie waits there while I check out at the front. She's thirsty so we buy a bottle of water. After I pay - we switch places. She texts me from the front of the store asking which bag her water is in. Only it's not in any bag because I THOUGHT I put it in my purse....but it's not there. Ooops. I have no clue where it ended up. I lost a bottle of water within a span of 2 minutes and about 20 feet. That's talent my friends! Thankfully Alice has lots of people praying for her.

While she was waiting, Tami observed a strange character wondering around the front of the store. He apparently bought some of those trading cards kids play with and proceeded to hang out at the front of the store looking all stalkerish. A few minutes in to my wait (which was about 20 minutes at the jewelry counter) I get a text stating "HURRY UP!! THIS GUY IS FREAKIN ME OUT!" Lovely. Once I finished I hurried towards the dehydrating Poopie who practically runs out of the store. We're walking to the car as she's describing Mr. Creepy and all of a sudden she goes "oh my god!! Oh wait, that's not him. Thank God." She checked to make sure we weren't being followed the whole way home. 

On the drive home Tami asks if I've ever forgot Alice was with me. She then follows up this question with "don't let that question worry you about my babysitting skills - I totally got this!" ;)

Now to Merle Norman. Heaven help us all. 

Saturday was Mamaw's birthday so we were heading over to Mom's house for birthday fun. This was the plan - my Beloved was going to drop me off with Tami at the Merle Norman store, go get gas, then we were going to meet him at CVS so I could drop off a prescription. Easy peasie! 

We never made it to CVS. 

We walk in to Merle Norman and there are 3 people in front of us. After the couple checks out (which takes a little extra time because the girl working who's never worked a Saturday before forgot to charge them for a few things) a lady approaches the counter. Her first words are "just so you know, it smells disgusting in here. I almost can't take it it's so bad. I don't think it's you (meaning the check out girl) but it just STINKS!" Oh yeah, this is going to be fun. She then proceeds to look through her wallet for cash to buy a gift card because she's NOT spending more then she has on her. Period. Turns out it's $40. She's buying a gift card for her granddaughter who went to Texas State but is going to go to A&M soon maybe but is living with her right now. "Can you look up what make up she uses in the computer? One time I bought her a gift certificate and she gave it to a friend. I was so mad! How much is this?" She picks up EVERY ITEM on display on the counter and asks this. EVERY ONE! Mind you - it still smells 'disgusting and she's going to be sick'. Yeesh. Meanwhile, Daniel calls from the CVS parking lot. I tell him we're aborting that mission and to head back. When he arrives I go out to explain the situation in true dramatic style with flailing arms and everything. He is stuck in the car with a baby that likes to go so he proceeds to drive around the parking lot. As I'm walking back in, I notice a car parked in two spots. Completely straddling the line - I should have taken a picture. I think to myself - I bet I know who drives that....I go back in and we're still waiting on the loud mouth with a sensitive nose. Now she's asking what she gets for free with buying a gift certificate. A $40 gift certificate. Seriously!? She then goes on to say the normal manager who is much better gives her free samples and such when she comes in. She's just much better. 

If this was that show Boiling Point - we'd have bubbled over. 

The only thing keeping us quiet is the fact that if we get arrested my mom would have to come bail us out because Daniel can't stop the car or the baby will cry. And that might ruin Mamaw's birthday. So 1 point for self control! HOLLA!

It takes FOREVER for the girl to fill out a gift certificate (seriously, Merle Norman needs to computerize their stuff!) and FINALLY the nasty woman with the sensitive nose heads out the door. 

I tell Tami to watch which car she gets in to and....TOUCHDOWN!!! Yep - the rude parker is also the rude customer. Nice.

We hurry to the counter and start by saying "it doesn't stink in here - it smells like make up. And all we want is a gift certificate." 

We made the girl smile and feel a little better and had a story to reenact for the family. 

We were in the store so long Mamaw almost got the 'Hussy' perfume gift set. 

And now I can't find the prescription I was supposed to turn in to CVS. 

Hells bells. 

Until next time.....