Friday, January 19, 2018

Has it been that long?!

I clicked on my blog while I was working on the computer today and noticed my last post was in October. 


That's SO LONG ago!

I have been so very neglectful. 

So I thought, how do I fix this!? Do I post about holidays? Do I think real hard about something funny or witty that has happened since the start of November? Do I recap 2017? (Let's actually never speak of 2017 again, k, thanks.)

Or do I just pick up from today?

Yes, that seems less stressful. Let's start there....

Health Update. I developed a 4th abscess that FINALLY drained in December. And I hope this is the last time ever in my life I have to type that sentence. REAL TALK! I saw my Boob doctor yesterday and she feels like things are finally looking up. She lowered my steroids and we're going to ride along until the skin heals and I can redo images, however, if the images look good, I might be over this. 

These are my hopes and prayers for the next few months: that the ultrasound and mammogram will be conclusive and that I will NOT need another MRI. They are EXPENSIVE and UNCOMFORTABLE. So I'm praying for conclusive evidence. And I am also hopeful that this will never, ever return. Like, EVER. I would also like to be off the steroids as soon as humanly possible.

It's always sobering when I meet with my Breast Specialist. She's a surgeon so the wait times are always extensive and there's a temptation to be frustrated and annoyed. However, I understand that the woman in the room next to me is there to discuss her recent breast cancer diagnosis and suddenly my time isn't important. Because while what I have been dealing with for the past year (A! YEAR!) isn't fun - it's also not completely life shattering either. So I don't mind waiting. 

Working Momma. I started a new job in October. It is what takes up most of my time while Alice is at school so my writing time is limited. It's a scheduling job - I have a client and I contact his clients to book appointments. It's not hard and it's work-from-home and I can set my own hours. I have hesitated in sharing this because it was still so new, however, so far it's going well. Alice is adjusting to mom being on the phone some when she has a day off. This summer will be a challenge but she's old enough to understand and manage on her own. It has been an adjustment transitioning into work mode while not neglecting other responsibilities. Spoiler alert - the house is almost always a mess. Bless. I will learn to be a dignified house keeper one day.....maybe. 

The Holidays. We had a simply wonderful holiday season! Alice loved everything Christmas. We celebrated with family. We ate a lot. We drank a lot. We were merry. It was lovely. 

A Fresh Year. I was so thankful to end 2017. The stress. The anxiety. The frustration. The brokenness. I have high hopes for 2018 but I refuse to put anything in writing. I also refuse to recap stupid 2017. Nope. Let's just skip it, over and over and over again. 

I want to see things with fresh, patient eyes. I want to budget (my least favorite b word ever) better. I want to find time for my creative outlets. I want to lose all the weight I've gained since this medical journey started. I want to be thankful, regardless. 

These are wants and not goals. See - that's less pressure!  Because, as I sing to our usually screaming 5 year old, "you can't always get what you want....." 

I am curious to see what 2018 brings for our little family. I'm hopeful that things will settle down and I can get back to a new normal that doesn't involve weekly doctors visits and all the medical tests in the book. I would LOVE to not receive medical bills for at least 6 months straight! Such hopes......

For now, I will sort of promise that I will attempt to carve out more time to share our world. 

Until next time......

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