Santa Shop Shenanigans

I accidentally ended up on the PTO board. They called me to see if I wanted to be on it, I asked for more information on the positions, I got a ballot with my name next to Secretary. And here we are. 

Every year the PTO hosts a Santa Shop. A company provides little gifts so kids can shop for their parents and loved ones on their own. It's mostly cheap trinkets but the kids have fun shopping. I do not usually get to help because it's during the school day and also it deals with handling money and that's not my thing. However, yesterday they needed someone last minute and I happened to have time so I got to help for an hour.

The hour was highly entertaining. 

I should note that I do not know how to speak to little kids. I talk to them all like little adults which is why Alice's sass game was ON POINT at 2 years old. For example, I called one of the little kids 'babe' yesterday. She said "babe?" with a look on her face the clearly said 'what is wrong with you?!' Girl, we don't have enough time to cover that.

The kids come in with an envelope of money that has a list of people to buy for and also the amount the envelope contains. The kids come down during their Specials time (music, PE) so they come in groups and it's like herding cats with lots of grabby hands and all the questions. And with the little ones - you have to read everything.

Here are the highlights....

Me: Hi! Who are you shopping for today?

Kid A: My mom, my dad, my sister, my grandma and me.

Me: Okay, who do you want to start with?

Kid A: me!

Me: Yeah, how about we start with mom?

***

Helping a little boy shop for his dad.

Him: I like this trophy, what does it say?

Me: It says #1 Brother. You're not shopping for a brother.

Him: That's fine, my daddy will like it.

***

I have one little girl hand me her envelope and tell me she has $20 so we proceed to spend that $20 only when we open her envelope at the check out - she has $3.25. We had to start all over. 

***

One little girl had a World's Greatest Grandpa magnet she said she was getting for her grandma. I told her they had one for grandma and we could switch it for that one. 

Her: no, I like this one better.

***

I was helping a set of twins shop for their loved ones and they were drifting towards a table with the higher priced items. 

Twin 1: ma'am, can I have this?

Me: No ma'am, it's over your budget.

Twin 1: what's a budget?

Me: girl, nobody knows....

***

One little girl picked up slime for her brother. As she was standing in line, she decided to put it back because her mom doesn't like slime. Bless her!

***

Another little girl bought a dog toy because she wants a dog and is trying to convince her mom to get her one. Her mom also wrote "just let her have fun" on the envelope which made me smile because that mom gets it.

***

I do not usually handle any kind of money transaction. I panic - EVERY TIME. P-A-N-I-C. But this was easy change so in theory it wasn't going to be a problem. I still asked the other adult in the room to check my change because math. She calmly told me just to count up like that makes any more sense to me. Nope. 

It was very entertaining and I hope all the parents have a wonderful sense of humor about what they get to open on Christmas morning. We did try...

Until next time.....

March Madness

I feel like the only things I blog about these days are Birthday Letters to Alice and how much March is breaking my spirit. 

So, you know - we're here again.

Only this time the ENTIRE WORLD hates March. And that's comforting!

Only we can't physically get together to lament the suck-a-tude of March because we have to remain at least 6 feet from each other. AT. ALL. TIMES. And that's NOT comforting. 

Alice is getting to do School at Home now which is going as well as you would expect. For the first few days, we did educational games on websites and she had fun! Then we got instructions from the teacher with extensive lesson plans and due dates.

This did not impress Alice. School at Home was fun when it was educational games! Now she has to write?! On her vacation?!

We stressed that it's NOT vacation - it's quarantine, but she is having none of it. If she doesn't have to put her pants on, it's vacation. Period.

I am not a teacher. I do not have a teaching spirit. Or patience. Or a desire to explain anything. These will be trying times......

As of last Tuesday, My Beloved has been home as well.

This is a lot of family togetherness.

I am still working. He is still working. Alice is still in school. Atticus wants us all to leave so he can lay on the couch all day again. 

Today the Governor said Texas schools will remain closed until May 4th. 

Prayer Tree - ACTIVATE!!!! 

So now we will have loads of stories or maybe just the same story over and over again because I'm pretty sure this feels like the movie Groundhog Day.

If I don't come out of this weighing 400 pounds with a drinking problem, it'll be a miracle. 

Until next time......

Sassy Speaks

We are in so much trouble. Period. While Alice might not have an expansive vocabulary, the words and phrases she is comfortable with are worrisome. 

A few weeks ago, after asking her teacher to chase her and being turned down, she told her "you're kiyying me!" (You're killing me.) This is my fault. I was convinced her first sentences would be either "you're killing me" or "pull yourself together, baby" because I said them to her over and over and over again. 

If I had a dollar for every time she said, 'I told you, Momma!' - I would have a lot of dollars. Like, a lot, a lot. This phrase, spoken often, instantly makes my eyebrows retreat to my hairline. Instantly. 

I'm not sure who taught her, "yeah, guess so" but we hear that a lot too. 
"Alice, do you want to eat?"
"Yeah, guess so."

"Alice, do you love (insert name here)."
"Yeah, guess so" with a shoulder shrug because complete indifference is totally in right now.

She also has no sense of time, yet she thinks "not yet" and "in a minute" and "almost time" are appropriate responses to direct orders. Y'all. 

She's all "I a big girl" until it's clean up time. Then it's, "I too yittle. I cian't do it." Uh huh.

Don't even get me started on her backseat driving! 

You hit a bump - "careful, Momma, careful!"

You're sitting in traffic - "GO!! Just go, Momma!"

You stop at a red light - "Why you stop?! GO!"
"The light is RED! We can't go until it's GREEN!"
*annoyed sigh* "Pine!" (fine)

When you pull out of the driveway - "Not dis way!! DAT way!" while pointing to complete opposite direction. 

She's 3. Do you know how many years of backseat driving we have left to look forward to?! I'm not actually doing the math on that because it might make me throw up. 

She's a 100% drama all of the time. I know this is karma because she is such a mini-me, it's terrifying. I call and apologize to my mother daily. 

She'll ask for something and I'll say she can have it. Then she says, "you go get it" Ummm.....no ma'am. Your legs work. 

She also says some pretty sweet stuff. She 'wubs' everything and things are her most 'paborite'. She LOVES picking 'powers' in the backyard. She says "this is so awesome!" frequently. She says 'yook' for 'look', 'pind' for 'find, and 'pone' for 'phone'. These are getting better every day which is a little bit bittersweet. Our growing Little Bitty.

She says "sweet dreams, Momma" before bed and no matter how much drama the day has had or how frustrating bedtime has been, I smile. Because it's precious.

And we 'wub' her so, drama and all.

Until next time.....

All for Naught

Today I got an email informing me my certification program will no longer be offered at the school I am currently registered for classes in due to the career no longer being a 'viable career option.' The program I was 4 classes away from finishing. 

And just like that everything we had planned crumbled.

Now I feel like I wasted a year of school on classes I won't ever use or translate to anything I can use. 

Now I have to accept that I will have to work outside of the home. I will have a commute. Alice will go to day care. And that's only IF I can find a job. 

What do I have to offer? Who will hire me?! I've done nothing but chase a toddler around for the last two and half years. 

The doubt and fear is overwhelming. 

How could I have been SO wrong? I was told it was a great opportunity! I felt it was where I needed to focus! 

And now I am lost. 

I'm sad for plans that will never happen. I am heartbroken that a vision we had is no more. Plans we had as a family will have to change. And that breaks my heart. 

I am embarrassed that I was so excited for something that now means nothing. I now have to tell people that I went to school for nothing. Those plans I was so happy to talk about are all over. I should have just kept it all to myself. But that's not who I am. That's not what I did. 

And now I have to tell people I was wrong. And that stinks. I was SO SURE!!! And yet. 

I have to tell people that I'm back to not knowing what I want to do when I grow up. Back to being unsure. 

And that just sucks. 

I'm also mad. Mad for not being advised differently. I'm mad that they weren't going to tell me - I had to ask. 

I'm frustrated because I should have known better. If it sounds to good to be true....

I asked my Beloved if I should avoid blogging about it. He encouraged me to; he said it's my process and it'll help me work through my emotions. And he's right. And he's super supportive and I love him a lot. 

And while the train is derailed for now, hopefully we'll find the right track soon. 

Until then, I'll keep singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider and sharing ice cream with our girl. Hopefully something will make sense soon. 

Until next time.....

Raptor vs. Raptor

Months ago, I overheard mom and Travis talking about a new incentive he came up with. IF he got nothing but A's for the rest of his college career, she would buy him a new Raptor. 

I mentioned since I was in college too, if I got all A's I should get a dinosaur as well.

In his annoyed 'my-sister-is-the-lamest-ever; voice (seriously, you should ask me to do an impression of him when in person - HILARIOUS!) he says, "Timberley, it's not a dinosaur, it's a really nice, expensive truck!"

I say, "what do I need a truck for?! I have a vehicle! What I really need is a dinosaur! I want a Velaptor Raptor!" (I KNOW that's not right, but I'm not studying Paleontology so it doesn't count against me.)

He rolls his eyes - again. 

He mentions the truck throughout the year and I mention my dinosaur. This always earns an eye roll and head shake. His sister is just exhausting. 

This semester was a little different. I took my very first online classes. Online classes were not an option my first time through college. I took the two computer classes required for the program so I was able to get the assignments done at my own pace. And while it's not my favorite, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I discovered I have lots of questions and require lots of feedback and you can't 'read' an instructor via emails. I also had to make myself slow down; I go too fast and make silly mistakes and that's just dumb. I also managed to get through Pharmacology. It was a lot harder than Medical Terminology mainly because studying for it was completely different and drug names are HARD. But I made it through!

And I got all A's this semester. 

So, you know what that means?!

I'M GETTING A DINOSAUR!!! 

;)

Until next time.....

Biting Mad

About three weeks ago, I picked Alice up from school and had to sign an incident report because she bit a boy on the hand. 

Hold the phone, she did what?! 

They're not sure what happened. They were cleaning up after nap and he started crying. When asked why, he said Alice bit him. When asked if she bit him, she shook her head yes and said, "he mean." (There are only 4 kids in her class - 2 girls, 2 boys. It was not hard to figure out which boy it was.) I fussed at her and told her biting is NOT okay! 

The school has a strict biting policy - two bites and you're out for a week. This was put in place after last year when they had a serial biter they could do nothing about. 

She went to her Wednesday class (with the older kids) and had no problem.

On Thursday (back with the younger kids), I get a call from the Director saying she's bit the same little boy and I have an hour to pick her up. I'm not sure what they would have done with her at minute 61. So I spent my commute FUMING. How did they allow this to happen.....again....in one week...with the same boy. 

I fly into the school like the Wicked Witch of the West. They have her waiting in the office. I calmly asked what happened. "Well, that same little boy was shoving her off the scooter she was on and she bit him in the back. It's an extremely age appropriate reaction to being threatened but there's the Policy so she has to be suspended for a week." At 2 1/2. This has to be some sort of record. 

I asked what happened to the little boy who started it. Oh well, he got a talking to and he's back in the gym. I responded with, "playing with the scooter he wanted in the first place?" No response. I go on to ask that since this seems to be a problem with this particular little boy if she returns, can she return to the older class for the remaining three weeks. She says that's not going to be possible but she will be shadowed when she returns. I ask, "why wasn't she being shadowed after the incident on Tuesday?" No response. "Okay" I say, "I'll let you know by the end of next week if she'll return" and we went home. 

I spent the weekend so very upset. I can't punish a behavior I don't see firsthand. We can talk about it until I'm blue in the face - it won't make much of a difference. She doesn't understand. And now she's labeled The Biter while The Shover no longer has to share his toys. 

We talk about it and weigh options and decide it's not worth the stress of sending her back. From where we're standing, all he's learned is if he provokes her in to biting him - he gets the toy he wanted in the first place. And she learned that if she bites him - he leaves her alone. So - shadowing or not - it's going to happen again. It's just a matter of when and I'll need to be within an hour of the school at all times.

I sent the Director a lengthy, wordy email about why she's not returning and while Daniel was picking up her pictures and the rest of her stuff, she told him that they decided Alice could go to the older class for the rest of the year. 

We talked about it and thought it might be a good way to test it out - see if it's a biting problem or a certain boy problem. 

Last week was a good week. This week is only starting. 

These are things I'm sure of:
1 - what she did was a natural response
2 - she doesn't bite at home and until she does, I can't bite her back
3 - her school loves her and hated that they had to enforce the Biting Policy for the very first time with her
4 - her Tuesday/Thursday teacher is not a big fan of me right now
5 - my loyalty is with Alice - not her teacher
6 - I am a Momma Bear - a hotheaded, "not MY baby!" Momma Bear. I need to work on that. Maybe.
7 - I'm not upset she defended herself. We're not raising a little girl who thinks it's okay to be shoved around by ANYONE.

When I was picking her up after the second incident, the Director said, "she's usually so good about saying 'sorry'. I asked her if she wanted to apologize to him and she said, 'u uh!." That's my girl!

Until next time.....

Alice Goes to School

Alice started MDO last week! She only went for two days because Wednesday night she had a fever. Already. Oh joy! ;)

My Beloved drops her off in the morning and I pick her up in the afternoons. We both dropped her off on the first day and I have NO pictures. I was too focused on not crying that I didn't take any pictures. She shows a lot of apprehension at being dropped off but so far has cried very minimally.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, she is in the 18-24 month class and on Wednesdays she moves to the 2 year class because she is the only 18-24 year old who attends on that day of the week. She seems to handle the older class fine and all the teachers say she's the sweetest. Thank goodness. And I don't know what magic powers they're using, but she NAPS!! They say she has no problem napping. Hallelujah! 

She only went twice last week and in her daily folder on Tuesday, we got a little notice letting us know two different kids in the 2 class have been diagnosed with two different things, both of which are extremely contagious. Lovely. Just lovely. She was with them both for ONE DAY. Now I'm dosing her with Essential Oils I got from the Nana hoping they stave off any contagion. Fingers crossed!

She comes home every day with a new craft - it's so precious! Yesterday, they built a plane. When I went to pick her up, she had red spots all over her hand and for a second I thought she was sick but then they handed me her plane. Thank goodness! 

I have a little DIY project to display her art, hopefully we will get a chance to work on it soon.

For now, we're adjusting to new schedules and new routines. 

Today is the first day of Mother's Day Out that she didn't scream for an hour after arriving home. It might have to do with the fact she got a cookie on the way out. 

She seems to enjoy school! On school days, I tell her she's going to school and she smiles and points to the door. She willingly gets dressed and seems to be excited! Once she gets inside, the apprehension sets in but she's smiling when I pick her up.

I'm so very excited she's getting to be around kids her age. And I'm very thankful to the staff for taking such good care of our girl.

Until next time.....

I might be too old for this.....

We started school. I took a quiz for the first time in a LONG time. Alice came home with a fever.

And so it begins.....

Let's start out with my school experience so far.

This is what I know - people are RUDE. Grown people will show up late, interrupt a teacher, walk around during class, lie and cheat. It's so very disgusting. And every time they do something super rude, I get all sweaty and nervous. It's like high school all over again. 

Right now, I only have my Wednesday class. My Tuesday/Thursday class doesn't start until next week. On the first day of class, she had us pick Study Groups and we will have joint assignments due each class period. I loathe Study Groups. I do not study well with people. People are distracting. 

My class is extremely diverse in ages. There are several fresh out of high school, a few my age and a handful of older ladies. There is only one other person in the class who has a degree besides me. On the first day, we had to introduce ourselves. All I said was my name, my age(ish) and what I was going to school for. Everyone else gave their life stories. Nope. Not me. 

We had our first study group gathering after last Wednesday. It was as magical as I thought it would be. We have a quiet girl who doesn't seem to want to work ahead, a girl who doesn't listen to instruction, a very bossy girl and then me. I know what you're thinking, "um, aren't you the bossy one?" YES! But I do it with such grace that you don't realize you're being bossed until you're halfway through completing the task I've assigned. My boss skills are a gift. Hers - not so much. I managed to do my assignment during the additional week we had to do it. She did not. So instead, she tapped her little impatient finger on my book and told me to go start typing. Me and Little Miss Bossy will not make it through this semester without a scene. She then went on to ask personal questions that she doesn't have any reason to know. No ma'am. This is not my first time in college. I am not here to compete. My main goal is to get through the class without ever having attention drawn to me. Her goal is to be the Teachers' Darling. I overheard her tell the teacher after class how she should handle the next class because there were some faults in how she was currently handling it. 

My eyes almost popped out of my head. Class #2. 

This was after the girl next to me LIED to the teacher about keeping her quiz sheet. LIED TO HER FACE! The teacher isn't dumb! And there I was stuck between the teacher and big, fat liar, liar pants on fire. I might need to find a new place to sit. The stress. 

So we got through the first assignment. 

I stopped to talk to Daniel and the other Library ladies I know. They asked how it went and I groaned, "I don't like people". My Beloved,"Alice is in school for socializing. Timberley thinks she's past that." Exactly! 

I'm not here to make friends. I'm not here to compete for Teacher's Pet. I don't want to be the best in the class. I don't want to be the loudest. I just want to get through it. 

See, I might be too old for this. 

I spent a lot of time studying my note cards the week before my first quiz. When I got to class, the loud women in the corner (who CONSTANTLY talk and interrupt the teacher and thanks to Little Miss Bossy, the teacher now knows cheated on their first quiz) were going over their note cards for what was probably the first time because they were getting them all wrong. I had to plug my ears. 

Maybe I should look in to online classes....

Until next time....