A Pinch of Hope

This weekend I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone for something I knew in my heart was important. 

I have been unapologetically vocal about my disgust with those in leadership roles and my disappointment with those who put them there. I share this on social media and in the shirts I wear when I leave the house.

But lately, that hasn't been enough.

Last Friday I decided to see if there was a No Kings gathering in our area and was pleasantly surprised to see one in our little community. I told my Beloved I needed to be there. I texted my like-minded Bestie and her response was an immediate "I'm down." That night we bought markers and made signs. 

I was going outside......

Before we left the house, it was important to me that Alice understood why this was necessary.

We talked about our Freedom of Speech and how the current administration would like to silence those who disagree with them. We talked about how they are trying to manage what stories the Press are allowed to tell. We talked about how they are attempting to erase parts of history that might make us uncomfortable; but these are things that to be learned so we don't accept the terrible treatment of others as being okay. 

Lastly, we talked about the importance of showing up for our friends that do not look like us who are having to worry about being unlawfully detained for the color of their skin. That is not something we have to worry about and it's important to use our voices for them. By showing our outrage at the blatant injustice - we are showing them they are safe with us.

On Saturday, with our signs in hand, we headed to City Hall and joined around 300 people from our community in solidarity that NONE of this okay. The lies. The shutdowns. The disgusting internet trolling done by the freaking leader of the United States - NONE OF IT IS OKAY.

We held signs, waved, blew bubbles, sang, chanted - even when it rained.  

And for the first time in a long time, we all didn't feel so alone.

We stood next to a woman from our neighboring community who was thankful to be able to stand with people who felt the same way she did. 

It's easy to feel like we're crazy. But over 7 million people peacefully gathered to express their anger at where we are heading. 

And for the first time in a long time, I had hope.

Hope that the hate won't continue to win.

Hope that eventually the lies will stop and consequences will happen. (I miss accountability and consequences and checks & balances...)

Hope that communities can live in peace again.

Just.....a pinch of hope.

I'm thankful we attended because now I know I'm not so alone in the immediate space I share with so many. 

Until next time....

Proverbs 31:8-9

*Direct quote from JD Vance before he traded his morals for power.
Look it up - Google is free.

I shared where I stand on the subject of the current president. Go here and here for a reminder.

I will remain vocal as things continue to go downhill. It's important to me that people in my life know where I stand - either to feel safe or to stay quiet.

The man and his people are atrocious and there is no defending them.

But that's not what this blog post is about...

I recently shared this picture on Facebook:

This post is about this comment - 

I have removed the name of the commenter from the above picture and also from my Facebook. The block function is something I use liberally these days.

This line "don't assume this isn't part of His will" is problematic.

Because THIS is what that sentence is saying - 

        Families being ripped apart...

        People being taken off the street and sent to other countries...

        People being persecuted for speaking up...

        People losing jobs...

        Criminals being pardoned...

        Bribes being flaunted...

        Lies being told daily...

        Foreign leaders being insulted in front of the press...

        People losing much needed support - is the will of God.

Hard. Nope.

None of this will EVER glorify Him. There is absolutely no way any of this can be spun in a way to show them on the right side of humanity. 

And as Christians - if we are not actively speaking out AGAINST it - we are actively participating IN it. 

It is a privilege to go about your daily life not worrying about how decisions made by terrible people will directly affect you.

Staying silent tells the people around you who do not have that privilege that they are not safe with you.

This is the time to flip tables.

And saying "this is God's will" with all the Christian audacity you can muster is a slap in the face to all of those suffering.

None of the Bible stories I learned growing up ended with "go forth and separate the poor and banish the foreigner in my name." 

The current regime is not the will of God. It's the will of people who fell head over heels for a very golden idol.

I read a quote the other day that said "Trump was their test against false idols and they failed."

I believe that 100%.

Again, some of y'all didn't pay attention to Veggie Tales and it shows.

Until next time....

Policies vs. Decency

Disclaimer 1: This post will not focus on policies. There has never been a politician I have ever agreed with or believed in with zero concerns. I rest assured that there is not a single politician with my best interest at heart. Neither major political party is out for what's best for me or you. Period. 

This post will be about how thankful I am there is a possibility for a less than hateful man to lead this nation. A better example of a leader to our children. This post is about how blindly following a horrible man due to 'political policy alignment' should never outweigh common human decency - in my opinion.

Four years ago I sobbed at the blatant and open hate that won the highest title in the nation. I shared my views on it then. They haven't changed. 

For four years, I've watched his followers gain a louder, prouder voice. I've seen the flags and the hats and things in his likeness and I've often wondered if it's how Sodom and Gomorrah looked right before it was turned into salt. There can be no denial that this is anything other than idolatry. 

Let's look up the definition in case there's confusion....

* idolatry (noun): extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone. 

He was never God.

He was never the savior. 

He was never a patriot.

He is flawed.

He is broken.

He is reckless.

He is Hate personified.

He is not the example I want for my child.

And now I can be hopeful that there is change coming. 

Yesterday, I sobbed because for the first time in 5 years, I will be able to watch a President speak with my child in the room with no worry about having to have a lesson on anti bullying. 

I won't have to say things like "that's not how you should treat people" or "that's not how we talk about people" or "NEVER in your life let a man speak to you like that." I won't have to have any of those lessons fostered by our soon-to-be President. 

Disclaimer 2: I am NOT saying he is without his flaws. I am saying his main motivation doesn't appear to be division.

And that's just so refreshing. 

I listened to the President-Elect speak last night and he never spoke with hate. He didn't insight action against anyone. He didn't blame anyone. He didn't encourage crowds of people to cheer for the demise of anyone. He didn't say any horrible things about the current leader.

He spoke of family and faith and unity. He quoted bible verses. He included and welcomed everyone. He appealed to a nation divided and promised to attempt to help it heal. The people in the crowd were crying and smiling with happiness.

Let me pause again and stress I do not align with some of his policies. However, I truly believe he's a better example than who we currently have leading our nation.

I watched our Vice-President-Elect speak with so much joy! Forget political party alignment - she is the very first woman to hold that title. As a woman, I wept. As a mother to a daughter, I wept. Alice will never know a world where there hasn't been a woman in that high of a leadership role. And THAT is a beautiful thing. 

Disclaimer 3: Again, I am NOT saying she is without hers flaws. I am saying she has broken through a glass ceiling for all the little girls sitting at home hoping to make a difference some day. And that's something special. 

I am thankful soon the rhetoric should change. I am hopeful the non-hate will be louder than the hate for the first time in 5 years. I am anxious about what the next few months will look like. 

But today. Right now, here's to a new hope.

Disclaimer 4: I acknowledge this is my personal viewpoint. These views are not shared amongst all of my family or friends. I will not debate about it - it will not sway them. It will not sway me. It will only stress out my blood pressure medicine. This is just my public recording of the words on my heart. One day, this will be all Alice has of my words and I want there to be no confusion about where my heart was aligned. 

Until next time...

My, my, my, my Corona

This post comes from an angry place. This is your warning.

We were careful. We were mindful. We were diligent. 

We have not seen the inside of a restaurant since March. We have been to extremely limited, intimate gatherings in controlled environments with the same circle of people.

We have been paranoid. We have been told we are silly for being so paranoid. We watched as people went about their lives, business as usual. 

A few weeks ago we hugged a family member who has not been as diligent or closed off as we prefer. And they gave us Covid-19. 

4 hours with someone within our circle and it took us out for 3 weeks. 

I pulled Alice from school and transitioned her back to virtual. My Beloved and I had all the lame symptoms associated with the Rona. We are LUCKY things were not worse. 

I made a Facebook post about how I felt Covid has been the worst of all the medical issues I've had to face. I caught some static for it. 

"I'm pretty sure when you were in the ICU was worse, Timberley."

Do you know what I remember about my first several days in the ICU after Alice was born? Nothing. Not a darn thing.

"What about when you were dealing with your boob stuff?" 

While that stuff SUCKED - I could completely function while I was going through it. It didn't knock me on my butt. I could manage my day to day responsibilities.

What was worse about having the Rona was the fact that my number 1 responsibility could not be to heal. I still had to mom and teach and work and take care of a house - while sick.

The post I made to Facebook was done wrapped in a blanket with a fever and watery eyes wearing a mask, sitting on the floor of Alice's room playing raft. Her world didn't stop because we were too sick to manage it. She was understanding but she's also a kid who is TIRED of being locked down. She is a kid who had JUST managed to go back to school with her friends but found herself locked down.....again, missing crucial classroom time.

I also got to deal with the nurse from Alice's doctor's office who spoke to me like I was so irresponsible to allow her to be exposed to the Rona. She made me feel worse on top of worse. "What are you going to do to protect her?!" What would you suggest?! Put my 8 year old up in a hotel for a few weeks?! 

We did THE BEST we could to keep her safe and we are THANKFUL she seems to have missed it. 

I didn't kiss or hug my kid for almost two weeks. That SUCKS. 

The fear was also REAL fun, y'all. 

What if we get sick enough to need to go to the hospital? What happens to Alice?

What happens if Alice gets sick enough to go to the hospital? Who would be there to sit with her?

What happens if this is something that messes with my wonky DNA and it causes me to clot? Do I just get to stroke out with my husband sick in the bed and my kid avoiding math? 

On repeat in my head every day while I was still working. 

My Beloved had a harder time and was down for most of it. We both cannot afford to be down at the same time with a kid in the house. That leaves me.

So yes, this was harder than all the other times I was able to prioritize healing over anything else. 

I have been so angry. 

I am angry we got sick. I am angry Alice missed time in the classroom. I am angry that this seems to not have made a difference in anyone's attitude about being safe during a friggin Pandemic.

I watch people post pictures from restaurants and pumpkin patches and parties and I get so very angry.

I am not willing to risk my health or my family's health again so we will remain cut off from family and friends until this is done unless I know for sure those people have been nothing but careful and masks will probably be involved. 

We've had heavy discussions about what the holidays will look like this year. They will probably look a lot like lockdown but with holiday decorations.

I've heard "don't you trust God to protect you from getting sick?" I trust God to give me common sense during a pandemic and the means and dedication to not knowingly put my family at risk. 

We are happy to be feeling better. We are thankful we did not require a trip to the hospital. It was touch and go with my Beloved's fever! We are even more paranoid about being around people. 

I do not see the end to this any time soon because not enough people are willing to do what it takes to make it stop. 

I also selfishly feel like only the naysayers should end up with it. 

God and I are working on my attitude. Mostly He feels I'm a bit justified in my anger so that's where we currently are.

Until next time.....

Political Incorrectness

I'm supposed to vote today only I still don't know who I'm voting for. None of the candidates thrill me. NONE. There are a few I am extremely willing to vote AGAINST. However, none I am ready to run out and vote FOR. It's a conundrum. 

I'm not as conservative as some I know which presents a problem. One year I voted for an underdog and I'm pretty sure when my mom found out she wanted to ground me only I was in college and she couldn't. I love my mom and still base most of decisions on what she would think, but sometimes we defer when it comes to politics and I have to vote for who I want to vote for. I try not to talk politics with the people I love. It's bad for my blood pressure. 

I like to make educated choices and do research and listen to the debates. I tried to watch the debates but all I heard was a big cat fight. It was like watching the Real Housewives of the Campaign Trail only it was mostly men huffing and puffing. I gave up. NOTHING of value was being said. If I wanted to watch kids fight - I'd go to school with Alice.

There's the bully. In the beginning I just rolled my eyes and thought it had to be some sort of terrible joke. And yet, here we are. I LOATHE the idea that ANY SANE PERSON would willingly go out and vote FOR his hate and arrogance and obnoxiousness. "He speaks the truth!" they say. No. He spews hate. The way he speaks of women or other races should absolutely terrify someone. He. Is. A. Bully. He is a bully that dishes it out and then pouts like a toddler when it's thrown back in his face. 

We are the laughing stock of the WORLD. That's.....lovely. (At the bottom of this page I have a ticker that lists where people are reading from. There is someone from Ottawa, Ontario that visits. To that reader: "Hi! I'm not voting for the blowhard. I think he's a monster.") 

My suspicion is that he is being paid by the Hillary agenda to run so she is guaranteed a win. I don't trust her either, I think she's an unapologetic liar. And that's very unbecoming. (I should also note that I grew up watching and reading conspiracy shows and books so I turn most everything into some sort of conspiracy.)

Bottom line, there isn't one candidate I feel has my best interest at heart. There is not one candidate I feel wants the position for what the position was intended. 

They just want the throne. The power. The White House.

So, as it has been in the past, I guess I will vote on the lesser of the evils. 

Because THAT'S what our Founding Fathers intended. 

Until next time......

Hello from the Surface of the Sun

It's August in Texas so it's 9 MILLION degrees. This isn't anything new and yet every year we claim, "this is the hottest it's EVER been!" because our ability to forget the heat is a special southern survival gift we possess.

And this week has been MISERABLE. 

Like, 'turn off all the lights, close all the blinds, and hope the sun doesn't creep in an inch' miserable. 

It's the only time you take your showers with only the cold side on because it comes out scorching hot anyway. In several months, I will complain loudly about how long it takes for the hot water to warm up. Only right now, I'd love to wash my hot hands in cold water. 

You avoid any activity in which you need to put any amount of clothes on that goes beyond short shorts and tank tops. And in the event you do decide to dress up, by the time you are ready, you're sweating bullets and no longer in the mood to leave the house. 

I had an errand to run the other day only our outdoor thermometer read 105 degrees in the shade and I said, "nope!! It can't wait!" It went up to 107 before it leveled out. It leveled out at 107. Y'all.

The ground is cracked and leaves are wilting and anything done outside has to be done between the hours of 3am - 6am if you want to avoid melting. Seriously. You will melt. 

This heat makes you cranky and mean and sticky and gross. 

Unless you're an almost 3 year old who doesn't care that it's 9 MILLION degrees. She doesn't think it's hot! She thinks it's PLAY TIME! And she wants to crawl on me and sit on me but it's too darn hot for closeness. Nope. It's the no touching months of summer. The sit-WAY-over-there-and-don't-breathe-on-me days of summer. 

I'm ready for our winter. 

Until it's been cold for like a week and I have to wait 8 YEARS for the hot water to warm up...

Corner

This is what our street corner looks like right now....

It's lovely.

Not really.

And I got another notice from the City. 

Guess what it said?!

If you guessed our water will be "interrupted" again on Thursday, you guessed right!!

Another trip to Nana's for us.

Yeesh.

A Week in Review

We had a short week!

Which meant we had a LONG week.

Let's break down the highlights.

Monday my Beloved got to stay home for Labor Day. But it was less than relaxing. It started out fine! And then things went wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. First, Atticus wanted out; then I hear him barking with intent. I go to check and sure enough, a cat is on the porch. A very skinny, sickly looking cat that apparently has a death wish. All I kept thinking was "of all the porches in all the neighborhood, you had to die on mine." Atticus and said cat proceed to tussle before we can get the dog in the house. In his defense, it was HIS porch and he IS a dog. Daniel checks out the cat and it doesn't look to be freshly hurt. Hurt yes, but not by our dog. So he calls animal control knowing they probably won't send anyone out on a holiday. Sure enough, the poor cat is just going to have to keep dying in our backyard. I spend the next hour bawling over a cat that isn't ours and what a horrible world we live in that people would discard a pet so flippantly. 

We pack up to run an errand. When we return, we have no water. Again. I only discover this after I go to wash my hands after giving Alice some snacks. Again, my Beloved calls the city. By the way, when you call the city on weekends or holidays, you call the police dispatcher. Fun times. She sends out the on call guy to check the water situation. He finally arrives and Daniel heads out to talk to him. It's taking forever so I head out to check. The on call guy is leaning on his water-turn-offer device chatting with my husband. You see, he's having a hard time getting off because his boss is out on paternity leave and his elbow hurts. So he asks Daniel to help him turn the water off. Seriously. Apparently we have a busted pipe somewhere and the water just isn't getting in to the house. Oiy. 

So we pack up our child who is now sporting a pinwheel beard we have no way of cleaning off and head to Nana's. Her TV is magic.

Tuesday,  Daniel heads to the house at the crack of dawn to meet his parents so he and his dad can fix the leak. (This is where I take a break to mention how thankful I am that he has his dad in his life to help with such things. It makes me happy.) They're able to locate and fix the problem pretty quick. Meanwhile, the cat was staggered out of the yard. After the water is fixed and turned back on, Daniel decides to rest before he cleans up. Side story - they're doing construction in our neighborhood. It's a mess. It sucks. It has caused a MASSIVE water leak at the end of our street since the beginning of the long weekend. My Beloved decides to clean up only to discover the water has been turned off again. This time by the city FINALLY fixing the MASSIVE leak. Seriously. 

He decides to call Animal Control to come get the injured cat so they can humanely take care of it. We hate to see things suffer. Well she shows up, takes a look at the cat and asks Daniel if he has a pet carrier she could borrow. Umm.....excuse me?! Apparently she forgot her pet carrier when she got the "go pick up an injured animal" call and had to go back to the office to get it and then come back to get the cat. Had I been present, I might would have caused a scene. I don't do animal control; however, I'm PRETTY SURE the FIRST thing you should pack in your 'Animal Control' marked vehicle is a pet carrier. 

I'm losing faith in our city employees.

I spent all of Wednesday removing items from our child's mouth. A magnet, pages to a book, the computer plug, a Post-it-note pad and a nail file. The nail file caused the biggest fit but luckily she immediately located the baby saline bottle and started chewing on that.

On the upside, Alice and the dog did play nice all day.

Thursday I had a doctors appointment which meant we got to visit with our L&D friends. They love seeing our girl and we love visiting them!

Friday meant the Exterminator was coming so Atticus (who HATES him) and the baby (who is indifferent) got to go to the Post Office with me.  I asked how it went and my Beloved tells me we have Roof Rats. Come again? You might remember our rat dilemma. Well, they went away! We were happy! A few weeks ago we started noticing acorns on the porch. This is odd considering it's screened in. So Daniel points this out to the exterminator who examines the poop and announces we now have Roof Rats. I mean, come on!!!! (Apparently ground rats have round poo and roof rats have pointy poo - now you know.) So the acorns are their snack. Our back porch looks like the floor of a steakhouse meant for rats. 

All this nature is messing with my blood pressure. 

That brings us to today. We got up very early to meet our friend, Libby with Captured Moments to take some family/1st birthday pics. I can't wait to see them! She did SO GOOD!.

Here's a sneak peek from my phone. This picture is mine, don't judge. ;)

Such a cute little mess she is.

And tonight we got to attend a NICU reunion at the Children's Museum. She loved the bubbles!

And now we're going to bed. 

Until next time......

Hopefully things will simmer down.....

Three Things

I only went to the store for three things....

Today was going to be simple! I had two errands to run. No biggie!

My first errand was to turn in the utility bill to the city. No problem - they have a drive thru! I throw the very tired baby who thinks naps are dumb in to the car knowing she'll fall asleep. And sure enough - she does! Only we get to City Hall and find this.

That's the Drive Thru.....closed. So I had to wake the baby to bring her in and spend the rest of the day fighting a VERY tired baby because there's no sleeping during grocery shopping! No ma'am! There's WAY too much to look at. 

I swear, the city hates me. Yesterday they turned off the water without telling me....again. Yesterday was a bad, bad day (except the baby and the dog - they were good). We're not going to talk about it. 

Just know that when I approached the closed off Drive Thru - I was beyond upset. B.E.Y.O.N.D.

So fighting the baby for the next few hours was exhausting. And I gave up.

She slept like this for almost 3 hours. And woke up like this.....

Temperamental Hot Mess.

Momma needs some more wine.....

Cold

A bowl full of frozen teethers for a very active baby.

"Have a baby!" they said. "It'll be GREAT!" they said. 

Today has been a very, very long day....

She did this for 3 hours. 3. Hours. This certain fit was because I walked in to the kitchen....without her. This is a face that screams "I NEED A NAP BUT I DON'T WANNA!!!!!"

So I put her in the car to run some errands. And sure enough - she passed out. Only I had to go in to HEB because there isn't a drive through grocery store. Come on people! And she had to wake up which meant she didn't get a full nap...again...and when we got home, there was a lot of this....

A very long day.

FINALLY she fell asleep and stayed asleep long enough to wake up happy. 

No matter how many times I threaten to put her on the stoop or sell her to the gypsies - every moment I'm with her is mostly worth it. ;)

Until next time.....

Day 26 - Something you did...

I mastered the Sock Battle!! I can't keep socks on Little Bitty to save her life. She just kicks and kicks until she's barefooted and freezing. My Beloved worries about her survival skills. Last night when he came home he noticed she was wearing two pairs of socks.

I told him since she's mastered getting one pair off, I'm challenging her. 

HA! Take that kid! Try getting TWO pairs off!! 

If she does, she'll be wearing three pairs. And when she masters three - four.

One day my Beloved will come home to a child wearing her entire sock drawer. But she'll be WEARING them! 

Now for something I DIDN'T do. A mommy fail.

I attempted for the second time to shop on my own with Little Bitty. However I didn't make it in to the store. 

I can't figure out how to secure the seat to the cart. I worry I'm an idiot. 

The first time I only needed a few things so I put her entire seat in to the cart. She takes up a lot of room! 

SEE!! She takes up ALL the cart space!

But today I needed lots of stuff. When trying to get her balanced on the cart like all the other cool moms who have NO trouble at all, I was worried with how unstable it seemed! I'm not a great cart driver. One bump and over the edge she goes! 

So I panicked and put her back in the car with her "momma cray" face and cried all the way home. 

Sometimes I'm no good at this.  

Luckily, she doesn't know any better. ;)

Until next time....

Holy Hormones Batman

I'm a crier. I have been all my life. And I did really well while I was pregnant but my body is all kinds of confused and my hormones are going BANANAS! My poor, poor Beloved. I have all sorts of feelings and they run from hot to cold in a heartbeat.

I have guilt that I'm broken and I couldn't carry her to term. Then I have guilt because some women can't even get pregnant and here I am feeling bad I had her early. Or some women deliver too early and things don't end well. I have guilt I'm not up at the NICU 24 hours a day. I have guilt because I can't seem to do anything normal even though I pretend we did everything right. 

I'm thankful that in spite of all my medical issues - she's doing REALLY well and seems to be unaffected by my medical emergency. I'm thankful she's where she is and getting the care she's getting. We delivered at Mom's hospital and that's where she is so she has a slew of nurse friends that visit her daily. ;) Mom gets daily text reports on little Alice. I'm thankful I'm healing. 

I feel loss that things I planned are all screwy now. Sick leave is now complicated, I won't get traditional maternity pictures and our OB thinks it's wise to not try again. That one's pretty tough. 

And it's selfish really - and then comes the guilt again. 

I worry about having to use the Infant CPR class we're scheduled to take; I'm not sure I'm strong enough for that. I worry with us not up there 24 hours a day - she'll know and not be attached to us. I worry I'll never produce enough milk to keep her fed when she comes home. 

Breastfeeding without a baby has been a challenge but it's going better and I've received lots of encouragement that has helped a lot. I just think my body had to adjust to not being pregnant. 

It's still an adjustment. But I'm doing better! I didn't cry at all on Tuesday! ;) But I had a peach yesterday and remembered how she would kick when I ate peaches and cried the entire time I ate it. Hot mess. 

We really are doing good and we're so thankful she's doing as well as she is. And while she has our heart - we're absolutely terrified at the idea of her coming home. She's SO TINY!! We don't know what to do with such a pocket child! My family has big babies! I weighed 9.6! So I'm at a loss when it comes to 2.6! Yeesh. 

And to top off everything - I have cramps and my boobs hurt. Being a girl blows. ;)

Until next time....

The Wrong Side of the Bed

It seems to be my side.

I'm cranky and discouraged and overwhelmed and cranky.

Did I already say cranky? Oh well - I'm double the cranky.

My right arm still hurts and after Thursday so will my left. This is discouraging.

I have A TON of stuff to do at work that requires lifting and shifting but my arm hurts. This is overwhelming.

I can't fit in to any of my clothes. This makes me cranky and sad.Luckily with having the surgery I'll be in sweats for a few days. Those fit me.

Christmas stresses me out - the schedules, the planning, the shopping, the people. This is VERY discouraging.

I've been so distracted that we have the Christmas tree up but it doesn't have any ornaments on it.

So now I'm locked in my office crying - mainly because I need a good cry. And there's nothing wrong with that.

This too shall pass.

Until next time....

5 O'Clock

Today I am thankful that Monday is almost over and that tomorrow is brand new with no mistakes in it - like Anne of Green Gables would say. I'm thankful my Beloved is waiting at home and I can't wait to be there with him. I'm thankful it's almost time to go home and I have HP5 to listen to on my drive (even though I loathe Dolores Umbridge and this is my least favorite book in the series). I'm thankful it's a short week! And I'm hopeful I'll wake up a bit less cranky tomorrow - I blame He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He's making me and my Harry friend very ragey on my drive in. ;)

Until next time.....

Lessons in Patience

I'm begrudgingly thankful for this.

Patience is not a virtue I was born with. It's something I'm working on though! And let me tell you - this week has been a challenge!

I've had several hotels try to charge us for more than we agreed. Foolish, foolish hotels! And yesterday I had this particularly fun run in with a shipping company. Here's some back story - our big magical printer stopped printing on Monday (which is another story that ended with a bottle of wine) so I had to hustle in order to get a shipment out. I overnighted a box for first AM delivery - guaranteed to be there by 8am and costing an arm and a leg. My boss calls me the next day at 10am saying it hasn't arrived. No problem! I'll check the tracking. The tracking says it's been picked up. That's it. So I call and proceed to have this conversation:

Me: I need to check the status of our package.
Them: It's been picked up and set to be delivered at 8am.
Me: That was two hours ago.
Them: Oh
Me: So where is it?
Them: I'm seeing it's been picked up.
Me: I know that - where is it now?
Them: I don't know.
Me: So you can't tell me where in the world our package is? You can't find out which brown truck between here and New York is currently carrying said package?
Them: No.

Me: Fine. We need the charge refunded.

Them: We can't refund the charge until the package arrives.
Me: And when is it going to arrive?
Them: It was scheduled to arrive today at 8am.

Yep. By this time the Timby-Rage-O-Meter had peaked and I gave up.

Turns out they totally smashed the package and it was sent back to me. Poor Package!

I'm thankful for patience and a sense of humor.

Until next time....

Sew Annoying!

So I'm working on a quilt again and this one might really be my last!! For reals this time. Probably. Maybe.

If I could properly work my stupid sewing machine I might actually enjoy it a little better! But as it stands, if I do not have the following items close at hand while I'm at the machine, I will accomplish nothing but frustration. (And screaming and throwing, hence the reason why our dog runs to the bedroom to hide as soon as he sees the sewing machine come out. Seriously. It's kind of sad)

The Seam Ripper and Scissors are a must because as much as I sew - I do A LOT of unsewing. These are items you are used to seeing in a sewing box. The other items, not so much. Somehow when I sew, the thread in the machine gets wrapped around the gizmos and gets caught up in the joints. So then I have to use the Screw Driver to remove the front half of the sewing machine. I then have to use the Flashlight to find the offending thread and the Pliers to attempt to remove it. It's a scene. A sad, sad scene.

I have to re-thread the machine at least 4 times during a sewing session. This is probably user error but I follow the directions so I'm not sure which step I'm missing. Maybe the machine is a lemon. Maybe I'm not cut out for sewing. Maybe this is normal and I'm just horribly impatient. It's probably a little of all of that.

Sadness.

Until next time...

My Heavy Heart

My heart is broken, y'all. Between the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and the fires, I'm pretty sure I'm going to spend the week near tears. I've sat and watched fire destroy large amounts of the state I love in the past few days. And it's still burning. People are losing their homes, their lives and there is NOTHING I can do about it. I'd huff and I'd puff if I thought it would help! I'd give up my favorite pair of shoes for Captain Planet's ability to control water and wind! But none of that is possible. And all I can do is watch. It's such a helpless feeling. We can donate money to the victims and supplies to the people at the front lines and that's helping. But it's not calming the flames any. And that's frustrating.

Seeing the interviews of people who had to leave behind all things precious made me start to think about what I would grab if grabbing was all I could do. The idea of making a "Must Grab" list is heartbreaking but humbling and so very grown up. So I'm making one through my tears.

Every time Texas is in the news 'spot light', my pride in my state grows by leaps and bounds. People have lost EVERYTHING yet they never say "woe is me! where is my help?" They stand and shakily say "yea, we've lost everything, but it's just things. we'll rebuild." You don't see shots of people standing around waiting to be rescued. You see shots of people waiting in line to donate cars full of supplies, Facebook posts of addresses where people have opened their homes to strangers needing shelter, people volunteering to help anyway they can.

Because that's what we do - we take care of our own. It doesn't matter what kind of disaster is thrown our way, we take care of our own. Our hearts are already there and we just can't help it.

I'm proud to be a Texan. Bottom line.

I'm praying for the families near the flames, the families through the flames, their animals who are scared and the men and women who are tirelessly working to STOP the flames. I'm praying for strength and encouragement and success. And I can't help but hope for a big giant rain storm. I'd give my favorite pair of shoes for a nice soaking Tropical Storm to blow in tomorrow. But I fear my shoes are safe, there's no rain in sight.

Until next time....

Day 27 - From a Distance

Our house is about 6 miles from a major shopping center and at every intersection there is a light. And EVERY time I have to go to said shopping center, I hit EVERY SINGLE LIGHT. It makes me bananas. This is me stopped at one. Can you see the many, many more I have left?! Yep, I got to stop at those too.

And I'll get to the next time I have to head that way. Fun times.

Until next time...

Maybe I'm just selfish

Grrrrrr.......Why is it that Family has the ability to make you SO RAGEY but you have to love them anyway?! (This will be a venting blog - you've been warned.)

My Father's family lives in Louisiana. And I can count on ONE hand the amount of times they've been to Houston to visit us. And I don't hold this against them! There are more of them then there are of us so it's easier for us to go there. It's tradition that we spend Thanksgiving with them. We've only missed a few years due to other obligations but this year was the first year I refused to go. Apparently the older I get - the more persnickety I get. They've made NO effort to visit me. None. Zero. They always want me to visit them but have never said "hey, we want to come see your house" or anything like that. It's always take with them and never give. Well, my Give has Gone Out.

Enter the Rage.

While I can count on ONE hand the times they've visited my mother, I know they've been to Houston more times then that. Because they post pictures on Facebook and we're all friends. Classy! "Hey - here's pictures from our trip to Houston WHEN WE DROVE BY FAMILY BUT DIDN'T CALL!" Seriously?!?! That seems rude to me. Why would you drive over 4 hours and not call your family while you're there?! And then proceed to repeatedly ask that they come to you. Maybe I'm just being selfish.

This started with our wedding. They canceled two days before. There was a hurricane and they didn't want to get stuck away from home. A little part of me could understand. But the bigger part, the part that recognized they were the only living representation of my Father didn't. And still doesn't. If the roles were reversed, I would have driven through a hurricane to get there. And knowing I wasn't important enough and my father wasn't important enough - breaks my heart. Still. And I can't really stand to be around them. It breaks my heart all over again every time I see them. I've been to all their weddings I was invited to. Every one. And when I needed them to be there for me - I was let down. And I'm done.

Maybe I need to work on my forgiveness this year. Just let it go and all that stuff. Maybe they'll come across this and defriend me so I won't have to see their recent trip to Houston. And maybe I'm just being a selfish brat.

But then again, maybe not.

Until next time...(when my heart rate goes back down...)