When I say "I saw it on Pinterest" - my Beloved rolls his eyes and swears.
When my Beloved says "so I've been thinking..." - I open a bottle of wine.
Most of the conversations that follow these words are just so unbelievable that sometimes I can't take it. For example - one day he wants to build a house where all of the doors are actually hidden behind bookshelves and to get in, you must know the correct book. We would also have a huge beer sign in the backyard if he wasn't scared the home owners association would kick us out. "But you don't even like that beer!", I say. Him - "but it looks so cool!" I just can't.
A few months ago, he says "so I've been thinking that when Atticus dies, we should articulate his bones and put his skeleton in the window in the front room."
See what I mean?
I take a breath and close my eyes....."what?"
He continues on with what a brilliant 'conversation' piece it will be and how much more interesting our house will be with it there.
enter the eye twitch
I say "the conversation will be between our guests on their drive home and will start with 'did YOU know he was that crazy?!'"
My dear, sweet Beloved "nah! Who wouldn't think it was cool?!"
This 'articulate the dog' has been a long lasting idea that just keeps getting better and better.
Tami was in this past weekend; as we're sitting in the living room, Daniel comes in and says "so I've been thinking more about articulating Atticus and I've decided we should put magnets on all the bones so we can use it as an anatomy lesson for Alice! Like a puzzle!"
sweet baby Jesus in the manger.
This required more wine. A lot more wine.
My sister looked confused so I had to explain to her that my husband wants to de-bone the dog. "Oh. Oh, okay" was her response followed by a look that clearly said "girl, your husband is cray cray!"
Yep, I already know.
He says he's only joking and realizes the idea is a bit unreasonable; but I only believe this by 10%. I go on to explain that there is a very tiny voice in his head that keeps saying "but it's such a great idea!" and my fear is that the voice will grow louder and louder until it's all he hears. He follows that up by saying he NEVER listens to the quiet voice. Which leads to me saying "oh really? Do you want to take a trip around the house and point out some things 'the voice' approved of?" This made him smile....because he knows I'm mostly right.
On a day we didn't have to be up early and the baby was asleep, the dog decided since the sky was awake, he should be awake and was being a complete nuisance. After repeatedly telling him to be quiet, I told my Beloved "you can de-bone the dog."
Him - "But he has to die first"
Me - "Give me a few minutes...."
Every time we have these conversations, they end with me saying "this is going in the blog."
So, you're welcome.
Until next time.....
3 comments:
My Daniel thinks this idea is excellent. He says there are these magnets that are neodymium and are super strong. His other idea is that you freeze dry the poor animal and split him right down the middle and put hinges on so you can open him up and see his insides.
For a long time Daniel has maintained he wants to be freeze dried in a sitting position after he dies so he can sit at the dinner table and be a presence. This is what I live with.
We're kindred spirits, you and I. And are husbands are NUTS!! We need to meet in real life. Maybe not them though..... ;)
The magnets will totally work! Calliou has an episode about it. Well, it's a plastic skeleton (named Mr. Bones) and only 6 inches tall and has molded 'bones' for most of the small complicated bits (backbone, hands/wrists, feet ankles, tibia/fibula, etc.).
Okay, now that I think about, no it won't work, he's cray cray. Thanks for sharing.
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