Silencio, Judgy Moms!

Social Media is a funny thing. 

It's great to stay in touch with family and friends who live so very far away. You can connect to people you will never meet simply because you happen to stumble upon a picture they posted on Instagram. You can join in celebrating, mourning, supporting people you share commonalities with. It's fun! 

But sometimes it's not. 

The other day, one of my silly pictures was featured on a funny Insta feed. While 99% of the comments were of good humor and appreciated the funny for what it was, there were a few moms that were quick to condemn my parenting skills. Complete strangers felt like they should call me out for the choice I made. 

Ummmm, no thank you.

I have a strict "Do Not Engage" policy when it comes to social media. I am not getting into an internet war with anyone. It's not good for my blood pressure and not worth my time. Arguing with someone over social media has NEVER led to the other person changing their opinion or views. All it does is upset you. So I don't. 

But sometimes it's hard.

And since having Alice, it's been so hard to listen to the CONSTANT judging that can come from being a parent. 

I've decided that the Mean Girls in high school have gone on to become the Mean Moms of social media. They can hide behind their screens and tsk, tsk every time you break an obvious parenting rule. 

Some people have more knowledge of how I should raise my child an entire :40 seconds after giving birth. It's.....cute.

As a New Parent, you get TONS of advice, mostly unasked for. 
And it always starts with:
You HAVE to.....
You CANNOT.....
You MUST....
You should NEVER....

I think we need to change the language when speaking with fellow parents.

What worked for us might not work for you. What was good for us might not be good for you. 

When someone asks for advice, I try REALLY hard to say, "what worked for Alice was..." Because that's the truth. We found what worked for us. 

When she was little, she and I shared a bed for a while. All I ever heard was, "that's the WORST thing you can do! DO NOT let her sleep with you!" And my heart broke. My heart that told me it's what she NEEDED. One day we were visiting the hospital where she was born. The subject came up again and an OB sitting at the counter asked, "are you sleeping any?" I said, "yes". He then asked, "is she sleeping?" Again I said, "yes." He said, "then what does it matter? What matters is you're both getting sleep." I cried the entire drive home. Because he said what every new, exhausted parent wants to hear - is it working for now? Then you're good. Hang in there. 

That's the thing I tell my fellow new parents - it's HARD and you will not love it all and that's OKAY. 

We might spoil her some. We might indulge her some. We might allow more than we should. 

But she's ours to do with as we please. We didn't ask you.

We are NOT perfect parents. And neither are you. 

In closing.....

Dear Judgy, McJudgy Online Stranger Danger Moms,

You DO NOT know me. I didn't make her another sandwich; I simply gave her mine and chose to eat hers. I'm not a short-order cook, as you suggest. I was simply being funny. So find the humor or move along. 

And get off my case, toilet face. 

Sincerely, 
Alice's Mom

PS: We got this. Thanks.

*Disclaimer: I KNOW by sharing pictures this sets us up for additional outside judgement. This is my way of handling it. 

Until next time.....