The Dada's Worst Nightmare

*This post is totally TMI territory. This is your warning.*

As parents you constantly play the "what if" game in hopes that one day when the 'what if' presents itself - you have a plan of action already in place. 

What if.....she runs a fever for too long?
What if.....she eats a staple? (DONE!)
What if.....she throws up?
What if.....she poops in the tub?

Sometimes this works in your favor and when a situation comes around, you spring into action and everything works out! However, there are some that you are never prepared for. Ever. No matter how much planning you do. 

That brings us to this week.

On Sunday, Alice woke up and crawled into bed with us. As she was laying there, I heard her start to gurgle and immediately knew she was going to throw up. "Daniel! She's going to throw up!!" We get her sitting up and she throws up a little. Lovely. We get her to the toilet but she's done. She didn't eat much the day before so all she threw up was stomach acid. She immediately asks for milk. I KNEW this is NOT what she needed - at all - but the fit was so spectacular that I said, fine. She did good for about an hour. Then she spewed all over the living room. 

The Dada springs into action! We get the bucket under her chin until she's done and I get her changed while my rock-star husband cleans up the living room. She didn't throw up again, however, every time she got her hand near her mouth, we jumped up - "are you going to be sick?!" Her response every time - "No, I good." Yeesh.

And then there's last night. 

The Dada gives Alice her bath while I clean and get things ready for the next day. As soon as I turn the sink water off, I hear my impatient husband say, "TIMBERLEY! Can you please come here!" Yeesh, hold your horses! I was doing the dishes!

I get to the bathroom and he's kneeling next to the bathtub with his hands up like he's surrendering. "I was doing to the dishes. Is there something wrong?!"

"YES! She has POOPED in the TUB!"

I look over the side of the tub and sure enough, there's a big turd. My immediate response was to laugh. He did not think that was a proper immediate response. My second response was to ask if I could go get my camera. Again, he did not feel this was an appropriate second response either. 

Apparently our child managed to place some in his hand with her question of "wuss at?" before he figured out what was going on and became completely unglued. We get her out and sit her on the counter wrapped in a towel so Daniel can clean the tub. EVERYTHING was scrubbed. While the decontamination was going on, Alice and I discussed where poop goes. It's dirty and it goes in the toilet. To make her Dada even more crazy, she thinks it's cute to say it goes in the bathtub. I'm not sure he's ever bathing her again until we've confirmed she's gone poop already. 

Oh, the joys of parenting!

Now for the part where I brag on the Dada. Y'all, he's not big on germs. He's not Howie Mandel crazy but he prefers clean. He's a dedicated hand washer. He cringes when she puts things near her mouth. A little part of his soul dies when he catches her licking things like the wall in a store or something equally disgusting. And yet he has handled this kid SO WELL. He hasn't fainted or died yet and he still willingly gives her hugs and kisses. I am so proud! Alice won the Daddy Lottery. Bless him.

It took some time to settle after Poop Gate; it rattled the Dada quite a bit. I tried to tell him this is something that happens ALL the time!! It's totally normal.

And then I said, "I know it's cliche but.......$#*$ happens!" 

He didn't find that amusing either. 

Until next time......

Editor's Note: this was published with permission by the Dada.